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Another Legend Lost

2010-05-03T01:11:00.005+01:00

In the event of Guru’s untimely death at the hands of Cancer it got me to thinking about the Legends I have loved and lost in my 24 years. Unlike my younger cousins and even younger God-children who are being reared on Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Jedward and other manufactured trash, I had the good fortune of being exposed to good music with soul and real substance. Michael Jackson’s BAD album cover was the first poster on my wall. I remember him before the ridicule, the allegations and the unfortunate descent into madness and obsessive cosmetic surgery. It saddens me that my youngest God-daughter who is 2 this summer will not experience his legacy first hand. This is the same for other Greats of my time whose legacy I have been blessed to witness such as Luther Vandross, Tupac, Aaliyah and more.

Although we currently have superstars in our midst- aside from Mariah, Jay Z and not forgetting his wife (Oh and Whitney of course who already has one foot in the grave) are there any current artists who have real potential to leave a true musical legacy after death?

There are a lot of great artists out there – I could name a dozen from Lauryn Hill to Enya but will we ever see a true Icon such as Michael again in our lifetime? He is quite possibly the biggest artist and icon we have ever known. Will we ever have a pioneering artist lead a musical revolution such as Guru? The music industry today is full of clones and tribute bands who instead of creating something original choose to imitate the greats that paved the way before them. From Nicki Minaj’s 2010 reincarnation of Lil Kim to Lady Gaga’s daring swagger jacking of Grace Jones (who by the way refused to do a collaboration with her for this precise reason). Beyonce was heavily channelling Tina Turner a few years back and even Ne-Yo has been accused of mimicking the late, great MJ (although I can't think of a single male R&B artist who doesnt). We all have idols and role models who inspire us creatively - but who do we look to now for originality?

They say that you should never throw old clothes out of your wardrobe because fashion always comes back full circle. So if this addage is true, I wonder, can the same be applied to music?

I was lucky enough to meet and interview both Guru and his sidekick Solar (who is a grouchy little man) this time last year. Guru was incredible. Like the Oracle he was full of knowledge and wisdom and his innate love for Hip Hop was evident and as strong as ever. It was an honour to have him share a piece of his history with me. We spoke for almost an hour about many things and I reckon we could’ve spoken for hours more had management not kicked me out. Infact, he reminded me of an Uncle I had who would not stop talking if you got him started on a topic he loved (namely Jamaica or Cricket or a fusion of both - the West Indies cricket team ). I remember leaving the interview thinking that that was one of the experiences in my life I would never forget.

Never.

RIP Guru.

TB xx

The 'Break' I needed...?

2010-04-20T23:47:00.009+01:00

Yes that is my leg!

My beautiful 34 inch prized possessions were mauled in a car accident over Easter. I have barely had the will or the energy to write let alone do much else but my friends suggested I blog about the event in a cathartic attempt to find the silver lining in my (mini) tragedy.

I don't remember much about the accident as I fell unconscious shortly after the collision but I was later told that it took 45 minutes to cut me out of the car and that the police had been called to the scene in fear of a fatality. Can you imagine? To think I escaped with a busted ankle is truly a blessing! My clothes had to be cut off of me (including a new pair of knee high riding boots which I was particularly distraught over)

- even my cutest lace La Perla set was snipped in two! *Nana Berry always warned me as a child to wear clean matching underwear to save embarrassment should I be rushed unexpectedly to hospital and so luckily I was well prepared in the advent of this disaster.*

Of course these things are insignificant in comparison to the bigger picture and can be replaced but still...

a loss is still a loss... no matter how trivial

Whilst in hospital I spent the majority of my days in a sleep induced limbo (courtesy of prescribed codeine and 6 other types of medication that I must take at 8 hour intervals daily). I had no phones and no internet (which aside from the food was the absolute worst thing about being in hospital). I was plagued by thoughts of backlogged emails, scarred legs that may never heal, ingenious ways in which to disguise my black eye and bodily bruises, and of course pending work that just won't do itself. I stressed about the obvious setbacks of being immobile for an exasperating amount of time (my GP reckons 6-8 weeks before I can walk again without aid), I fretted about being sidelined professionally (albeit temporarily) and I cried over the painful realisation that some of the people I thought I could count on in my greatest hour of need could not be counted on at all.

I also used this time to do some soul searching. Self evaluation is key to growth, and seeing as I've had a lot of time on my hands I took it as the perfect opportunity to evaluate the way I treat myself and others. I found myself asking why I constantly need to be in control and why I feel I must put on a strong font at all times? I wondered if I have been a loyal friend? a supportive cousin? a responsible daughter? a loving girlfriend? Whether people I hold dear are proud of me or disappointed? I questioned whether or not I am deserving of their time, their friendship, their love?

So many questions, think it would take me another car crash to come up with all the answers.

I have always been a believer. Maybe not so much in the man made constraints of religion and its instruction, but more so in the idea of a higher power greater than ourselves. Although on the surface this accident may seem like a terrrible misfortune, I now look at it as a divine intervention - something unavoidable and fated by the powers that be. I had been putting unnecessary work pressures on myself and neglecting my health in pursuit of success. Now I have no choice but to literally put my feet up and rest (no pun intended.) I had been dividing my time and energy between people and relationships which I now see wasn't beneficial to me. Those who I had given my all to over the years were not the people at my bedside when I was battered, bruised, bleeding and broken. I now know with whom my time should be spent and have made active changes to the circle of people I have around me.

But most importantly I now know my worth - and it's a nice feeling!

So whilst its been tough being in such a visible position of weakness, I refuse to feel sorry for myself or dwell on this "little mishap." I recognise that there are people in our community who will remain at a handicap long after my ankle has healed. Having had first hand insight into how the other half live has given me a new level of respect for those afflicted with disability. Just two weeks ago I could probably find 101 reasons not to be happy and now I have none. Without attempting to come across desperately corny and sentimental I do realise how truly blessed I am to still be here with all my limbs in (relative) tact - despite the dreaded scars.

So whilst it is far from ideal, I firmly believe that breaking my ankle was indeed the 'break' I needed in terms of work, love and life...

Funny how life works out sometimes...

Hugs kisses and Bio oil,

TB x x

p.s. I'd also like to say thanks to the staff at Kings College Hospital who put me back together again and nursed me back to health. We often neglect our skilled workers who humbly serve thousands of people like myself daily. I will forever be indebted.

Random Enlightenment

2010-03-23T12:32:00.008Z

Hey Guys,

Having expressed my frustrations on twitter yesterday about the lack of positive, inspiring and/ or educational tweets in my timeline, I decided to start a section on my blog called “Random Enlightenment”. Every now and then I will post up obscure knowledge bestowed to me in my school days that I have since had no use for (like the process of photosynthesis) and random facts learnt from documentaries and my smarter, well travelled friends (such as there are more pyramids in Peru than in Egypt.)

If you happen to know at least 3 of these facts then good on you. As clichéd as it sounds, knowledge is power and is probably the strongest tool you can equip yourself with on the road to success! It is always good to know a little bit about a lot of things! Plus, if like me you are a bit of a geek and love to learn, you will enjoy the read too!

· The English invented football when kicking around the heads of slaughtered Danish invaders.

· Viagra was originally designed to treat hypertension and angina when its main side effect was discovered

· The largest denomination of legal tender ever used in the United States was the $100,000 bill. It had a picture of Woodrow Wilson on its face and was never circulated to the public

· Given her proportions, if Barbie were a real woman, she would be 7'2" and her measurements would be 38-18-34.

· Technically, bananas are herbs

· Every month that begins on a Sunday will have a Friday the 13th

· The African cicada fly spends 17 years sleeping, then wakes up for two weeks, mates and then dies

· Hugo Boss designed some of the Nazi SS uniforms

· The human eye can detect up to 16.8 million colours

· Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God

· Earthworms have five hearts

· The Mona Lisa used to hang on the wall of Napoleon’s bedroom

· Ghandi didn't allow his wife to take penicillin to save her life from pneumonia but took quinine to save himself from malaria

· Eating a packet of crisps a day is equivalent to drinking five litres of cooking oil a year

· Walt Disney, the creator of Mickey Mouse, was afraid of mice.

Can you be happy in an unequal love?

2010-03-17T18:05:00.002Z

Hi guys!

My brain is literally frazzled! I have had a very trying week – emotionally, financially and otherwise. Every cloud has a silver lining so I know that when my life starts to spiral relentlessly out of control or my karma (the bad sort from errors made when I was young, dumb and generally less of a nice person) boomerang full circle to happy slap me when I’m riding high, I know that I must take it all in stride. Balance will ultimately be restored in the end.

With the stresses of life temporarily weighing me down and my hormones running amok in preparation for my menstrual cycle (TMI – sorry) I have officially become the bitch monster from Hell! Think Naomi Campbell but not in the super model variety. I am a woman on the edge, close to the brink, ready to snap at any given moment over the most minute, irrelevant, nonsensical things. At present I cannot be reasoned with nor appeased as it only serves to aggravate me further. Knowing that I am presently in the foulest mood I’ve been this millennia, I have made a conscious effort to be anti-social in an attempt not to attack, alienate and/ or lose the few friends that I have. This means steering clear of all social networking sites including Blogger, Facebook and (arguably the worst culprit for misguided attacks on strangers) Twitter.

However, something on my Twitter timeline today stirred me out of my resolve, thus inspiring my blog post today! The tweeter in question stated that they had been advised to find a partner who loved them more than they loved said partner.

Based on my own experiences, I commented saying that this approach can only make a person happy for a short while as you will ultimately become unfulfilled, to which the tweeter replied “ a love reciprocated can never be unfulfilled”

After much to and fro I sensed some slight tension so concluded by saying that the unfullfillment will be a result of the imbalance of having someone love you more than you love them. I also expressed my belief that love should be equal and any kind of imbalance defies the central concept of what it is to love. I finished by pointing out the obvious –that allowing someone to love you more than you love them is ultimately hurtful and unfair to that person, which was all very bluntly received.

Having agreed to disagree it got me thinking –
Can you truly find happiness and fulfilment in an unequal love?

I mean, just because it didn’t work for me doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work at all right? And just because I don’t agree it doesn’t mean that the person is wrong. I have had men love me with no limit, offer me the world (and then give me half), forsake all others (supposedly) without a church union or a ring and it was happy days. For a while...

I understand the concept of this viewpoint to an extent – but feel that such an action is ultimately a defence mechanism to control the heart. Again, speaking from my own experience, I believe that the thrill of being in love is loving someone with your all. Not at a ratio. There is no better high than loving someone with everything you have and having that passion and intensity equally returned.

Just my opinion...

Anyway, enough of that! I am considering taking up a new hobby to release some of my frustrations and (recent misplaced) tension. A friend suggested kick boxing – I guess that would be a novel way to put my 34 inch legs to good use, but pain endurance is not my forte.

Think I'll pass.

Listening to classic Monica – and feeling better with each harmony

TB x x

Hard work pays off...

2010-03-04T17:46:00.002Z

Yes it's true.

I firmly believe that anything worth having is worth working hard for (my Louis V collection is testament to that fact)! However, the plan isn’t to work hard forever. I fully intend to be a lady of (relative) leisure by aged 30 – juggling the maintenance of my 6+ kids whilst balancing a successful business as a freelance writer from home. I may even write a novel one day on a completely remote subject such as Carping (random I know but it was the first thing that came to mind – which is odd because I don’t eat fish and, believe it or not, carping is not as remote a sport as it used to be...)

But for the immediate future grafting is key. Laying a solid foundation will indeed secure my riches in the future. Journalism is probably one of the toughest industries to break into but I’ve managed to wedge my foot firmly in the door through sheer hard work, determination and an unshakeable eye on the prize! As my portfolio grows so does my network of contacts (both equally as valuable as the other) but this doesn’t make the road to success any easier. In fact, I have recently come across obstacles which I thought I’d never have to face (I will revisit this in a later post as it is both a complex story and a political one) all the while knowing that the entertainment industry can be cruel, unforgiving, deceitful, cliquey and tougher than most. It’s all too easy to make enemies without even trying, make mistakes without ever knowing, and (in some cases) give up without even getting yourself on the first step of that success ladder.

Strangely enough, the above doesn’t faze me in the slightest (maybe it’s the Brixtonian in me, lol). My main fear is working so hard that I ultimately deprive myself in other areas – whether it be love, life’s little luxuries, or worst still letting myself go physically...
It’s imperative that you never lose sight of WHY you are working so hard. Otherwise you will never be happy. Nor will you attain the fulfillment that you desire - TB x

With that said I have been taking a long hard look at how much I work. Am I dedicating my time to the right projects? Am I making the best use of all my resources? Am I focusing my energy on things which will substantially benefit me? Or is my exhaustion all in vain?

Recently I have been quite hard on myself in terms of work and my career aspirations (I think I may be punishing myself subconsciously for my holiday in Jamaica where I did absolutely nothing for 3 weeks). I have made recent additions to my portfolio, including interviews with indie songstress and model VV brown

And youngest black female MBE, Justice Williams

*Both of whom are an inspiration in terms of what it means to be a focused and independent woman in 2010*

I also compiled a list of rising stars and people to watch this year...

A number of the people on this list have been working relentlessly on their craft for years and, are due to reap the rewards for their work as is karmas way.

I also did a review on UK boyband JLS recently. Their story sums up my entire post in the theory that there really is no short cut to success and that hard work pays off each and everytime.

Before hard work...

After hard work...

Well... pays off eventually... lol

TB x x
P.S. If you would like a FREE (yes, its free) hard copy of all the features mentioned in this post go to http://www.flavourmag.co.uk/ to download a copy or text FSUBS plus your name + address to 87474

The power of (mis) interpretation

2010-02-26T11:52:00.008Z

Happy Friday everyone!
A few days ago I wrote a post after watching the documentary below:

By way of example I posted a generic video typical of the hip hop genre which I felt highlighted some of the issues raised in the documentary. Although my bottom was indeed sore from sitting on the fence(my poor attempt at instigating an unbiased debate and flow of opinions) I felt that the key points were missed entirely. The issue was not of how videos are cast, Moonlights individual case or my passion (or lack thereof) for UK hip hop. The central question around the post was:

"Is this a reflection of the way society views us or simply a reflection of the way WE view ourselves?"

to which only a handful of comments (via twitter and FB respectively) addressed.

One of the key skills of a good writer is the ability to cleverly format your words so that the possibility of misinterpretation is reduced and your communication clear. I guess this is something I need to work on in order to perfect my craft as I felt my post was largely misinterpreted. Whilst I agree that everyone is entitled to their preference (just as they are their opinion) and should not be penalised for it, I still maintain that the respective powers that be (artist/ producer etc) within the media/ entertainment industry have a responsibility to promote a varied ideal of beauty - especially in such a multicultural genre such as hip hop. Unfortunately, Hip hop is becoming increasingly generic in both visual and lyrical content which is a shame considering its diverse roots.

- Just my opinion...

Anyway, in following the title theme of the power of words, I thought I’d do a quick post on books I have read recently. *Is that a resounding groan I hear...?*

I try to read at least two books a month otherwise my spelling becomes poor and my grammar slack. I am am a completely un-hinged reading activist. I believe it is so important. My mother was a real bookworm, often turning off the TV in favour of a crime thriller. I think she had an irrational fear that she would end up in a literacy hell somewhere between “yeah bruv” and “innit doh” without her beloved books. I often get asked what I’m reading (to which I always have two answers as I invariably carry 2 books on my person at all times - well depending on the size of my bag) so thought I’d write a post about the two books I have in my bag each month. I’d love it if you guys would leave your recommendations in the comments section or, if you have read any of my recommendations, to leave your thoughts about the book instead.

Just finished reading House of the spirits by Isabel Allende -

As a journalist I am envious of her writing technique and was moved by what an amazing story teller Isabel is. Her narrative is so descriptive and engaging that there is barely any need for dialogue. The story follows three generations of the De Valle’s – A priveliged family, based in Chile. The youngest daughter Clara De Valle has paranormal powers, with the ability to predict the future and move objects without touch. She marries a fiery self made millionaire, Esteban Trueba, who is the main storyteller.

Admittedly, this book is a slow burner. However, Isabel often alludes to dramatic or profound events well before they arise which inevitably holds your interest. On the surface, the book appears to be a whimsical tale of boy meets girl but by the end you are left with a very powerful politic message regarding democracy and freedom. Seeing as Isabel is the daughter of former diplomat and Ambassador of Chile, it is rumoured that her works fraw on her own experiences growing up in a politically charged household. I give it 5 stars!

Currently reading Ancestors by Paul Crookes -

I’m only a third of the way through this book but it’s been quite a good read thus far. After 13 years of tracing his ancestral heritage Paul Cooke’s journey took him to the slave ships off the Gold Coast of Africa which is where the book begins. Two slaves who bond onboard a ship to the western land are sold only to be reunited later through their ancestors. I found the initial few chapters difficult to read as the ill treatment and suffering aboard the slave ships were highly descriptive. However, it is proving to be an enjoyable read and has made me all that more curious about my own family roots. Although ‘Ancestors’ is Paul’s attempt to reconstruct his lost family lineage, this is a fictional novel based loosely on his family history. I give it 3 stars with the flexibility to gain half a star more depending on the ending!

As always feel free to comment and/ or subscribe. I am really looking forward to this weekend. My girl Nics is finally back from her holiday in Trinidad and I’ve missed her loads! We are going to get up to all sorts this weekend which no doubt will NOT be documented...

Listening to Calvin Harris - always gets me in the weekend mood!

Have a good one guys,

x x

Complexion Obsession?

2010-02-24T13:29:00.004Z

A good friend of mine over at Urban XL sent me the new video for their main artist Moonlight – entitled “Call Me”. Now I am not a fan of UK Hip Hop on the whole – the PS2 made beats and pseudo American dialect/ twang actually makes me cringe. I don’t live in a council estate, do any type of “skank”, wear Nike trainers and gold chains (apologies for the gross generalisation, but I am aware the majority of UK Hip hop is not targeted at my demographic, whether it be in terms of age, lifestyle or otherwise) so it’s safe to say I am not a fan and usually dread the endless mix tapes that come my way because a)I’m not interested and b) I am not an A&R so sending me these things really is pretty pointless.

However, I was pleasantly surprised by Moonlight’s efforts. The video (shot in Puerto Rico if you please, not Acton town) was incredibly polished and looked like money well spent. The production was really quite good and reminded me of the type of beats that American counterparts would use. Moonlight’s delivery was strong and had a distinct UK sound which I liked. All in all a good video, a good track and I’m grateful that when I told my friend that I thought it was dope I didn’t have to lie. Lol.

One thing that did stand out to me though was the choice of models featured. They are noticeably of better pedigree than what we are accustomed to here in the UK. But I was disappointed to note that once again there weren’t any darker ladies featured in the video.

Now I don’t want to take anything away from these ladies as they are all beautiful in their own right, particularly the lead. But it is a constant bone of contention within the industry that artists and directors prefer to use a light-skin long haired female as opposed to a brown/dark-skinned short hair one.

True or false?

I stumbled across this clip on Joy Daily TV entitled complexion obsession which is a documentary about what society deems beautiful in regards to black woman and how this is conveyed in the entertainmnent industry. You’ll recognise a lot of famous faces – rappers, models and producers alike who all give their take on the subject. Some excerpts are below:

"It’s pretty obvious that there is a preference to light skin women" – Melissa Ford

"From the beginning of time light skin girls get more respect than the black girls. That’s because light skin is closer to white and white holds the power in this country..."- Cassidy

"The Hip hop market is so multi-cultural – if you use a light skin girl she can go for Spanish, Dominican, latino, Italian... there’s so many multi racial markets you can hit just off of one girl..." - Dollicia Bryan

"Girls lie all the time about their breakdown and where their from because they now that will ensure them getting a job..." -Editor show mag

At first glance I’m inclined to agree with Dollicia – it seems that on the surface using a lighter model is nothing more than a savvy marketing tool. Yes, the ratio of darker female leads to light ones in largely disproportionate but it seems to make good business sense. Or does it? We all remember the uproar when Jeremiah cast a Caucasian lead for his debut smash “Birthday sex”. UK artist Taio Cruz has also received similar backlash. It begs the question; Are you more beautiful because your nose is a little smaller? Your hair a little softer, longer? Your complexion a little lighter? Do your exoctic features make you a more bankable asset? Do these genetic attributes give you an advantage over other females in both career and love?

Is this a reflection of the way society views us or simply a reflection of the way we view ourselves?

I’d be interested to know your thoughts....

Anyway, I’ve posted the Moonlight video below – I would be interested to know if you guys share my enthusiasm for this track. Although there are few UK artists that I listen to (mainly due to the type of music I like e.g. neo soul and revival) I will support those who I believe are truly good artists with potential. The music scene in the UK isn’t great so we must get behind those artists who bring good music to the fore.

Listening to “Fronting” by Pharrell Williams - a great track, a great video, and a stunning leading lady.

TB x x

A Growing love?

2010-02-22T13:38:00.019Z

Happy Monday everyone!

Feeling unusually chipper this morning despite the grim weather. Someone book me the first flight out of here – I’m just about through with the rain frizzing out my GHD’d locks, the snow staining my chestnut brown uggs, scraping the ice of my car with frost bitten hands each morning and generally wearing socks and leggings to bed each night!

Having spent the weekend catching up with the family, brushing up on my French and (attempting) Spanish, Ironing a cupboard worth of clothes (I kid you not! I found treasures long forgotten in that hallway passage of which Aladdin himself would be proud) and generally plotting my next move in the chess game that is LIFE, I became restless. I have a bad habit of entertaining people who I really shouldn’t when I am restless...

*You know what they say about idle thumbs...*
Without exposing my activities and implicating myself in the process, I will say that I allowed myself to be wined and dined by a not so eligible bachelor in an attempt to pass the time... (am I digging myself a hole here..?) Girls, we’ve all been there!

So yes, dinner (was nice but hardly Gilgamesh which, for any potential suitors, is one of my favourite places to dine) and drinks (alcohol always makes things better – strawberry or peach bellini’s another of my preferences) all went OK. I laughed at the supposed jokes and asked questions about his interests. I struggled to find any common ground, unique passions or quirky boyhood aspirations, but persevered with the mantra that “opposites attract” (which I have found to be completely untrue in reference to matters of the heart but more accurate to matters of the carnal variety). Yes the night was OK. I am no more interested in him than I was before dinner and drinks but I guess I knew that would be the case, so nothing lost and nothing gained. He will call me, of this I am sure. I may or may not answer, of this I am not so sure.

I do know it’s not love.

My friends are of the persuasion that love is a “grower” and not the immediate swooning sensation depicted in our favourite Hollywood films. They believe that Love is a fine art of patience, tolerance, compromise and all other adjectives which ring the “settling” alarm bells in my head. Although I agree with the views of my friends to a degree in that the capacity and ferocity of love does indeed GROW, I still maintain that when it’s love you will know it is such. Screw a “grower”. That’s what robs most women of their prime years – waiting in vain for the love of a man in the hope that they will “grow” on said man and he will one day reciprocate. Well, in the words of Ciara – “If that boy don’t love you by now...”

*Click on the link if you don’t know the rest*
I don’t claim to be an expert on all things pertaining to men, but what I do know is that a man wants what he wants. More importantly, the heart wants what it wants and you will know when your heart has chosen someone special. If you are in doubt and are on the fourth or fifth date hoping that he will “grow on you” then I will hedge my bets that he is probably not the one and that you’ve wasted a few good outfits that would’ve been better debuted elsewhere. I say probably because there is ALWAYS an exception to the rule. But again, you will know the exception should it occur.

I have always thought my exception would appear in the gorgeous smile of Jackie Long... Or the beautiful chocolate tones of Idris Elba for whom I would “settle” without hesitation. Or perhaps even the aqua blue eyes of Handsome Bob from Rock n Roller... with the intelligence, moral character and social awareness of Hill Harper

*Someone want to put out a memo? Lol*
I guess next time I am feeling restless I will endeavour to something a little bit more constructive. Nonsense dating is nothing but a wasted carbon footprint in Mayfair (along with many other waste analogies that my brain is , at this time, failing to conjure). I will sign off this post with a video (not sure how useful this is as I rarely watch videos posted on blogs but hey... someone out there might just watch it) by... which sums up this entire post in approximately 4:90 minutes.

One of the best music videos EVER! Such a simple idea to convey an all too complex message.
Pay considerable attention from the 2.08 mark.

Heartbreaking.

TB x x

Back to basics

2010-02-19T17:07:00.010Z

Does something look a little different to you?

That’s right, I’ve changed my blog template once again. In fact, I’ve reverted right back to the very template I had when I first started blogging. Sometimes less is more don’t you think? Trust me, there is nothing wrong with going back to basics. I doubt it will stay like this forever as I am a fly girl at heart. I like everything to be as fabulous as Kimora Lee and as glam as Beyonce’s sequinned leotards! The simple life is just not for me! But, on this occasion, I fancied a “no frills” approach to blogging. I have a tendency to take things apart just so that I can take pleasure in putting it back together again – with added improvement of course! Not sure if I’m actually going to bother to pimp out this particular layout – knowing me the novelty will wear off, I will get bored, find a new project and hire in a designer to do the needful. But we’ll see how it goes.

Anyway, as I’m sure none of you are interested in my voyage into blog design let me get on with the premise for this particular post. I was perusing a few gossip sites (such is my custom on most lunch breaks in the office) and I came across this picture...

Yes! It's Alicia keys. Alittle different from this wouldn't you say?

Now, I’ve always been a fan of Alicia – I indentified with the elegant and dignified way she carried herself as a black woman more so than for her looks. In fact, I’ve always felt that her face was rather average, her voice far from stellar, her legs a little shapeless and her sense of style somewhat inconsistent. Yet I remained an astute fan. I really like the message of sisterhood, female empowerment and self respect that she promotes. Meanwhile, men admire her for her physical attributes – the thickness of her thighs, her light clear complexion and husky, dulcet tones... It can, at times, make us women feel inferior. How do we as ordinary women compete with the Alicia Keys/ Halle Berry’s/ Beyonce’s of this world? These women, who appear to be flawless in design, uber confident and ridiculously talented, are in magazines and on billboards promoting every viable brand that epitomises “beauty”. If you don’t agree you are labelled a “hater” or seen to be jealous because you clearly aren’t as talented or as beautiful as the goddesses mentioned above.

*rolls eyes*

I give credit where it is due. I am not insecure. I can look at a woman and admire her for her beauty, her charm, her intellect, her successes or even (in some cases) her shoes. I can look at Alicia and still rate her as an artist and be just as enamoured by her work but still declare she is no oil painting. Why? Because as a woman I know exactly what efforts are exhausted to appear “flawless” on a day to day basis. I am lucky (or perhaps unlucky) in that too much make up just doesn’t become me. But there are women who are transformed by the comestic artistry of mac and bobbi brown. Once the weave comes out, the fake tan is washed away, the push-up bra is removed, the 5 inch heels kicked a side, and the war paint scrubbed off – they look just like you and I.

Well, I'm no pussy cat doll but thank God I don’t have those feet -

And WOW! Cheryl Cole is GORGEOUS!

But those tattoos are an epic FAIL!

And who doesn’t adore Naomi? Quite arguably the fiercest supermodel alive (no pun intended)

But even she benefits from a lace-front to keep herself looking fly!

Eva Longoria – the prettiest housewife right...? Sure, after the glam squad has made her up!

I'm not going to trawl the internet all day looking for a way to disparage the beautiful. I'm simply trying to point out that when we go back to basics we are all flawed.

And Perfectly so!

Well apart from Cassie who before P Diddy and the bald head was actually perfect and as such she is the only exception to the rule.

We all have our hang ups and our imperfections. The majority of us have stretch marks, blemishes and secret deposits of cellulite that we strategically mask. And those that don’t still find fault with their seemingly perfect skin, size, shape or hair. In our quest to be perfect we often overlook the features we have which make us both beautiful and unique. We won’t all conform to the commercial ideal of the perfect women. *note- we can’t all shave one side of our head and look like Cassie*

"The true power is harnessing your inner beauty as that will surely maximise the outer."

So women please don’t hate on another girl because she is beautiful. Why not pay her a compliment instead? I guarantee you that there is a feature of yours that she finds equally stunning and wishes she had. You never know she may have jacked up feet like Nicole PCD, or a sixth toe like Halle, that Indian hair may just be Yaki and that rotund bottom courtesy of M&S.

TB x x

A nervous wreck!

2010-02-18T09:25:00.005Z

Feel sick!

I have a very important meeting today which I am unusually nervous about. Thought I’d come online and write for a little bit in the hope that some of my tension will be relieved. I am not the shy or nervous type - It’s just not in my nature. However, there are odd occasions (such as this) when I can’t eat nor sleep with anxiety!

Isn’t it funny how fearless we can be when aren’t emotionally bound to things? Remember when you were in school and you had a crush on that cute boy? You could never muster up the courage to speak to him alone – however you could talk to his friend for days. Well that’s a little how I’m feeling today. This meeting may play a very significant part in my life should it go well and I’m scared I will mess it up...
From my outfit, to my proposal, I have been second guessing myself all week! I actually can’t wait till it’s over so I can breathe again...

Wish me luck

On a separate note, a friend of mine on twitter (@DJSHOK) send me the new Teedra Moses mixtape knowing that I’m a massive fan! I actually got the opportunity to interview her this time last year and was as nervous about meeting her as I am about my meeting today. I had nothing to worry about – she was lovely and we chatted for almost an hour!

Perhaps it’s a sign... a good omen maybe...?

Anyway, I’m off to try and get my act together. Let me know what you think of Teedra’s latest offering. I just love t! My favourite tracks are “Winter 96”, “International Playboy” and “Are you for real”. Oh and you can click HERE to read the interview.

Luv,

TB xx

*Update* The meeting went better than I could’ve hoped for guys! I’m on top of the world!

Will reveal all in the coming weeks, promise xxx

Feeling the Love?

2010-02-15T13:49:00.011Z

Hello my lovers!!!

I know I’m a day late and I apologise profusely! I hope you all had a brilliant time with your loved ones and that you remembered the TRUE sentiment behind the holiday. Valentine’s day isn’t a popularity contest to see how many cards, flowers or texts messages you can accrue. Nor is it an ego boosting exercise to determine how beautiful you are or how desired you may be. If I’m honest, I’ve only ever had 3 Valentines to date – all of which meant a great deal to me (at the time). This year was an epic year in terms of Cards, presents etc. I got more than my fair share and will be eating chocolates well in to next month!!! Although it’s nice to feel special I can’t help but wonder; what is the point if those treats aren’t from that one special person who makes your heart race and your tummy flip? Why is not okay to be happy and single on Valentine’s day? Single friends of mine (even those who are unashamedly commitment-phobic) felt pressured to couple up! Madness??!!

Fact is, as clichéd as it may sound, if you are in love everyday should feel like Valentine’s day!

Okay, down I step from my pulpit...

Anyway, yes I got a few treats yesterday but I didn’t get Reggie Bush in a state of undress at my door, nor did I get the puppy I had secretly been hoping for... although this was a close second...

It looks rather similar to the puppy I downloaded on my iPhone! Yes I realise that it’s bordering on LAME but my virtual jack Russell (named Santana FYI) is my current substitute until I find the King Charles cavalier I desperately want.

Oh, and speaking of iPhones, I’m finally getting to grips with mine. I can’t even begin to explain the many wonders of this device! It’s almost insulting to call it a mere phone...
Seriously – it makes Blackberrys look retarded in comparison. If like me you err on the side of caution when it comes to change, I urge you to take heed.

I
F*@#ING

MY
IPHONE

With the help of my twitter friends I have all but mastered the iPhone and now have a host of really cool apps that I don’t think I could live without! My favourites being

Google them for the download links - I'm being lazy today and couldnt be bothered to link each logo to the app store. Sorry! I have also downloaded the blogger app and will attempt to post a blog from my iPhone soon. Then there really will be NO excuses for my untimely posts!

Okay boys and girls – I’m off. Have a 2 deadlines tomorrow so I’d better get cracking!
I’ll leave with this song...

My belated V-day gift to you,

TB xxx

The pursuit of Happiness

2010-01-26T16:54:00.013Z

Hey People!

So today I sat down at my desk with a huge pile of work to do and a list of non-work stuff to plough through but I just had this overwhelming urge to write. I just couldn’t shake it.
Strange huh?

I didn’t particularly have a specific topic to discuss, feature to promote or pearls of wisdom to share... I just felt like writing... So I put all the stuff on my desk to one side and started writing and writing and before I knew it I had written something really beautiful. You know when you create something you are just so pleased with that you sit back and go “WOW” Lol. I’m not going to share it with you guys just yet as it really is rather personal, but it got me thinking; If I had let that long list of things to do dampen my natural urge to write, I would never have created something that I am so proud of... You know where I’m going with this one right...

How many times do we let life get in the way of the things that we truly desire? The things that, perhaps, we are born to do? As we get older, we let life get in the way of our calling – or more simply, our happiness. We stay in a relationship that is no good for us or slave away at a job that has no real prospects for our future. So why do we do it? Why do we pretend to be someone we are not? Be happy when we are sad? Content when we are unfulfilled?

Jeez! I wish I had all the answers...

Part of working in the industry is meeting a whole host of new people – from ALL walks of life! On the surface you might conclude that these people are intelligent, charismatic, genuine, financially stable, clued up and generally have got their @#?! together. You may also deduce that these people have found all the answers in life. Alas, based on my experience, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I have never come across so many confused people in such a short space of time – I kid you not! Celebrities, models (of all varieties), athletes (well, football players) and the many other public figures we idolise are so confused. They have no sense of self. They do things that don’t make them happy because they feel they are defined by it. Then they take to things like twitter and show their asses (as the Americans would say). They are human just list like us – and as such are also on the road to enlightenment.

There is nothing wrong with having role models or mentors, be it celebrity or otherwise. “Success leaves clues” and we all need guidance at some point in this journey called life. But if you don’t have a good understanding of who you are from the outset then you will spend the majority of your journey trying to find it out – and the longer it takes the longer it will take you to achieve happiness.

I had a lengthy conversation with a guy today who has been trying to get at me for a long time. I am a good judge of character (95% of the time) and just knew he would have nothing engaging, educating, witty or valuable to say. Needless to say he didn’t disappoint. So after I had heard about how great his businesses are doing, how much money he makes, what car he drives, what 5* eateries he frequents and A List clubs he parties at, I asked him; “besides the Hollywood lifestyle, who are you and what can you offer me that I can’t obtain by myself?”
(silence)
I didn’t let him squirm for too long, I’m busy and had things to do so I politely kept it moving and rang off. But it begs the question, if you don’t know yourself, how can I ever know you?

A lot of guys (and girls) allow THINGS to define the person they are. Okay so I have a degree I am intelligent, I have long hair and big boobs so I’m beautiful, I drive an expensive car so I am successful... RIGHT? If I take away all those things does that make you any less intelligent or beautiful or successful? If I take away all those things will you still know who you are? If I take away all those things will you still be HAPPY?

Think about it.

Life is not short. Life is long and it is challenging and so it defies all sense and logic to waste time, energy, resources and money on anything that does not contribute to your happiness... Common sense right?

Sorry to get deep on you guys - Just me, having a moment. I’m nearly done. But before I go I wanted to share something with you –

“I am Toya Berry. I am a writer. I write because it makes me happy, it’s natural and it pays me. I work harder than most because failure is my biggest fear. I am confident and outgoing in a subtle way that is unique to most Virgos. I love to learn and always have at least 2 books in my handbag which is ridiculous as it is physically impossible to read two books at the same time. I am an only child so am at peace in my own company. I am a food Connoisseur - there are few dishes I have not tried –which is ironic as I cannot cook. I am great at most things and terrible at a few – sports, singing and cooking being those few. I am so English in the sense that I am a stickler for good manners. If you don’t have them we will not get along. Family is the only thing more important to me than work. I like to make money and I am not ashamed to say as much. I enjoy the independence and freedom that having your own money brings and have been self sufficient since 17. I am fully aware of my assets as well as my flaws. Every day I strive to be a better person (and make more money, Lol). I am Toya Berry, comfortable with who I am but aware that I’m still evolving.”

Written in under 5 minutes from the top of my head.

That’s me in a nutshell – still in the pursuit of happiness but almost there. How long would it take you to write a paragraph about yourself? No stopping or editing... I challenge you to do it in the comments box below. Perhaps you don’t know yourself as well as you think!

Okay I’ve bored you enough for one day – If you get a minute check out QuietRiot Media As I’m on there doing my journo thing! Signing off as I have 3 Haiti related articles to write (I’ve made a donation, hope you have too).
Don’t forget to comment, tell a friend, and/ or subscribe if you liked this post!

And remember, don’t waste a new year lacking in knowledge or focus – find your happiness in 2010!

TB x

I'm Back!!!

2010-01-19T01:20:00.013Z

Happy New Year folks!

I hate writing blogs after I’ve been away for so long. It just takes a while to get back in to the swing of things. I guess I gotta try and get my groove back!!!

Let me start by apologising for my month long hiatus. It was neither personal nor intentional. I got really busy before Christmas and then went away on vacation on a somewhat feeble attempt to relax, regroup and refocus in preparation for the New Year ahead. I didn’t take my trusty Mac book with me either which crippled my blogging considerably as I really can’t blog on anything else. It’s bonafide adultery.

Anyway, one of my newest traditions is to bring in the New Year in a new country. I find it truly liberating – as though I’m really starting afresh and turning over a new leaf. You feel like you can really implement change when you are in completely different surroundings!

So, having braved the arctic playground that was New York (it was like -7 degrees and DROPPING when we got there just after Christmas), I flew to Jamaica to bring in the new year with my family and friends.

*Check me out in my sequinned dress! You just have to go all out on NYE - it’s the only acceptable time of year to wear silver sequins.*

We went to a really cool outdoor party at Temple Hall. It was almost like a festival, but with a dancehall twist! I was dancing so much that I forgot to take pictures L

My cousin and I travelled from Kingston to Clarendon to Montego Bay. It really was an amazing trip – made lots of new friends and spent time with family whom I rarely get to see. I visited my Great Grandfathers grave...

I picked coconuts...

I went to Port Royal and considered getting up on this thing -

But decided against it, so just posed in front of it instead. Doubt I could've convince you that I drove it anyway! Ha!

I took dodgy pics on my iphone

I also ate lots of fish, got a tonne of mosquito bites, partied too much and got absolutely wasted on bob marley shots! The only thing I didn’t do was go to the beach – slightly ironic actually after the many months of the Buff Body Regime I endured.
So sorry guys, no bikini shots! lol.

There is something about Jamaica that always feels like home and I never want to leave once I get there. Even an emotional end to the holiday couldn’t dampen my spirits. It was definitely the break I needed! I came back from Jamaica with a clarity I haven’t had in a long time. I have never been so sure of WHAT is important, WHO is important, WHERE I am heading in life and HOW I am going to get there – in short, my priorities have been realised. I won’t lie; it’s a really nice feeling.

So, 2010 has arrived, I made a few resolutions - many of which have been the same since... 2005?! Like learn to cook, drink more water, indulge in more ME time... etc. I am not going to reveal ALL of my resolutions as I've always been the type to keep my cards close to my chest. Particularly when it comes to work. I don’t believe in anyone else’s hype so I am the last one to create my own. Perhaps it’s the Virgo in me but I have set myself some challenging goals this year. I believe in setting goals in life as you need something to work towards. Something to drive you forward. 2009 was a great year for me professionally and I surpassed a lot of the goals I’d set at the end of 2008. But that doesn’t mean I can relax. In fact, I take it to mean the opposite. I have to work even harder to MAINTAIN! Sometimes, it is easier to acquire things in life than it is to maintain them - the recession is a good point of reference for that...

Anyway, as I was saying, I have a tendency to set myself daunting challenges. If it can be obtained too easily then I lose all interest. I simply don’t want it. That applies to work, to men and to life as a whole. I like a good hard challenge...

This year, my challenge is to stop playing it safe.

I don’t want a fresh start or a new slate as is the common ideal with the dawning of a new year– I am happy with what I have achieved thus far. I want to build upon my successes and I believe that I can only do so from the lessons learnt in my life thus far. From the highs to the lows, the loves and the heartbreaks, the losses and everything else in between. As I was waiting impatiently to board my flight from Miami to London I got thinking – “If I can push myself this far by playing it safe, just think how far I could go if I took a few risks?”

Time is far too precious to waste it on material things that won’t last or on insignificant people who don’t matter. Trust me when I say you are mistaken if you think every day doesn’t count for something!It DOES! Every day you waste is a day you fail to progress. You are simply existing - and what kind of a life is that?

Fundamentally, it all comes down to evolution - If apes can do it why can't we?

So, Goodbye to boring, Safe 2009

– and Hello to 2010!

I have evolved!

TB x

*P.S. As you’ve probably noticed, the Blog has had a makeover! It’s a lot more interactive than the former layout – you can subscribe, comment and share posts to social networking sites. Hope you like it! Look forward to having you guys get involved!*

Sometimes you win when you lose

2009-12-08T11:42:00.011Z

Hey Guys!

I’ve not really had much time to blog over the past week as I’ve been busy preparing for my holiday. Preparations include packing, last minute shopping, as well as wrapping up a lot of loose ends and freelance commitments – including an interview with VV Brown.
(image courtesy of sai photography)

Cool girl!

Did a bit of promo on behalf of my promotions agency Couture-Candy
(which will be launching fully in the new year)

Finally ordered my business cards after months and months of procrastination (and a divine intervention from Saira! lol)

Caught up with the latest episodes of Smallville

And snuck in a few business meetings regarding future projects that are about to kick off come the new year! So yes, I have been quite the busy bee!! Headed down to Aura over the weekend for a friend’s birthday. It had been newly refurbished (long overdue) but the layout is more or less the same. Haven’t had a crazy night like that in a long time

And don’t think I will again in a hurry. I am actually STILL recovering!

Whilst in my recovery stages however, I’ve been thinking about the past 12 months – you know, the things I set out to achieve, the people I have met along the way... as well as the people who have fallen by the way-side...
I was thinking about how each experience you have (whether it be good or bad) shapes the person you are and the person you will become. I am a firm believer in fate – that each person who comes into your life enters it for a reason. To guide, teach or enrich your life in some shape or form. I believe this is true even of the people who are no longer in my life. Those who I have shared memories with – no matter how many or how few have added to the person I am today.

As always per this time of year, I have a clear out. A people clear out. I make a mental note of who I need to make more effort to see in the new year – as well as the people who I don’t. Lol. I’m sure all of you have people in your life who act as a negative entity. I know I do! Like many, I see the new year as a time to wipe the slate clean. Cut off those who take too much away from you, and make room for people who will help build you... strengthen you...

This (for me) includes friends who only want to hang out with me in the club and crash my pictures (lol), or ex boyfs/ links who have passed their sell by date (they are always the hardest to get rid of!), or those people who only holla when it benefits them. I think it also includes (and I may be wrong here) friends who have become estranged. You know, the friends that you have outgrown or they have outgrown you. The people who hold the title of “friend” as a namesake for a time that’s now past, not as a true reflection of the present. It’s not all doom and gloom though! I have found through past experience is that those who value you won’t allow themselves to be ostracised. Those are the people who are really worth having around!

It may sound harsh but sometimes you win when you lose... so I guess I shall have to take a few losses to ensure I win for 2010!

If you don’t see or hear from me quite like you used to, you’ll know why... lol

TB x

Shameless Plug!

2009-11-27T10:12:00.007Z

Hey Guys –

Gonna keep this one short and sweet!
If you want to read all the interviews that I’ve been teasing you with over the last few weeks then check out the latest edition of flavour mag.
Its FREE
So NO excuses!

Sean Kingston interview on Page 41

And Pixie Lott on Page 25

And ME on the 2nd page!

It’s just a small blurb about the contributing writers put its got my picture on it :-)
YAY!
If you like any of my pieces please leave a small comment under the online version of the articles click HERE Your support would really be appreciated!

Got so much to do today, I won’t bore you with the run down...

Have a great weekend guys and remember if you can’t be good, don’t get caught ;-)

Luv TB x

Live & Let Live

2009-11-25T16:17:00.012Z

I felt compelled to write this post as I was just so FURIOUS!

– apologies in advance if I ramble/annoy/ insult/ curse or make more typos than usual... it only adds to the passion with which I write.

*side-eye*

The last few months have been crazy for me! Work is going so well and I’ve never been busier. Blog hits are up week on week, I’m meeting people I never thought I’d meet and going to the most amazing places! I’m living my dream. A dream that I have worked hard for with little help, assistance or hand outs. A dream that I’ve never lost sight of and one that I refuse to give up on.

You may read my blog from time to time and think how fun and amazing my life is. That it’s simply turning up at award shows and events, interviewing celebrities and posing with them in pictures. That my phonebook is full of footballers and smooth showbiz contacts and that I am wined and dined at will. Yes, at times it can be all of this –

but what you guys don’t see is when I am sat in reception for 4 hours waiting on a tardy celebrity with an attitude who now wants a 20 minute interview cut down to 5. (Try getting an 800 word feature article from 5 minutes of content – half of which is usable). Or having your life dictated by a PR agent who changes everything from interview times to location, venue to content restriction at a few hours notice! Or having to follow a tour bus in your car across motorways from hotels, to arenas to clubs, changing in your car between venues! Or dealing with Cameramen who don’t show up on time, artists who don’t show up at all, Assistants who don’t know what they are doing, ego ridden Editors who don’t know what they want and then moan about commission fees...

I could go on. But I won’t, because these things really do not matter.

These celebrities don’t care who I am. And for the most part, I don’t care who they are. They don’t pay me, feed me, nor clothe me.

It really is just a job.

*with perks of course but let me not digress – I am trying to make a point*
Just because I may have interviewed a few famous faces it doesn’t make me famous. Nor do I want to be. Granted, celebrity status may be attained through association (think Kim Kardashian and Ray J, Amber Rose and Kanye...) But wealth doesn’t. I’m out here working my arse off to get rich! NOT to get famous. I write this blog simply to document all the cool things I’m doing right now and all the cool people I’m getting to meet so that one day when I am (RICH) barefoot and pregnant, I can log on to my computer, read this blog and remember when I had a life! It frustrates me that people are so busy watching what I’m doing, dissecting my every action, picture and paragraph. It genuinely perplexes me. I invite you to share my world, and I often share yours – whether it be via your blogs, twitters, Facebooks, or whatever you choose to divulge. But what I am fast realising is that people have hidden agendas. They don’t want to share your world, trade experiences or make friends. They want to steal, sabotage, spy and generally be (for lack of a better word) complete ...

When will people realise that calling me ugly won’t make you pretty. Calling me dumb won’t make you smart. And similarly, attempting to discredit my work will not make you any more successful. This is not a blog calling out the “haters” as (perhaps naively) I don’t believe I have any. I have people who don’t like me – and they have genuine reason not to like me. I probably don’t like them either. Lol.

But that’s beside the point –

The point is, the time you are wasting keeping tabs on what I’m doing, can be better spent on getting ahead in whatever it is you are doing...

On a positive note the interview I did with Reem Kanj is finally online HERE

Thanks for the positive comments on the piece so far – your feedback is welcome as always.

Apologies once again for the rant – had to let off a bit of steam...

TB x

P.S. I've been getting all your tweets and emails about enabling the comments tool on my blog. I am working on revamping the look of the blog so should have that in effect early 2010, as well as the option to subscribe

Beauty Bores ME!

2009-11-16T12:45:00.018Z

Hey Guys!

Last week was a very busy week for me. Not sure where to start really...

I guess the beginning is as good a place as any...

Wednesday I was out interviewing new pop sensation Pixie Lott. I’d be lying if I said I knew who she was prior to the assignment (hmmm... I see a pattern emerging...) though the name was somewhat familiar, I just wasn’t sure where I’d heard it from. Anyway as my friend Juice would say “Google is your friend” and it sure was – This girl is a platinum selling artist with x2 number ones under her belt. She has written songs for Alexandra Burke and Beyonce and has done a whole bunch of cool and amazing stuff – plus she’s only 18! My girl Saira and I ~~trotted~~ (that makes us sound like two little piglets) headed down to Pixie’s label offices which is literally becoming my second home- (I’ve done that many interviews there) Pixie was lovely, completely down to earth and surprisingly humble. I was expecting a spoilt brat of a child to be honest – especially after reading recent articles where she’d been going hard about being a “real” artist.

Pixie, I eat my hat.

You are lovely!
Read the full interview online HERE
* Pics courtesy of the gorgeous http://www.saiphotgraphy.com/ and the interview will be live in this month’s edition of Flavour mag. To get a FREE copy delivered to your door simply text FSUBS followed by your NAME + ADDRESS to 87474.

I also had the ~~pleasant~~ experience of attending not one but TWO beauty pageants this week. I have never had the desire to go to a pageant in my life even though some of my friends have won titles over the years

Rachael Williams “Miss Black Britain 2006”

Naomi Jane Donald “Miss commonwealth Euro Atlantic 2007”

Let’s just say that this desire still stands. Lol.

I attended both Miss Flavour 2009 and Miss Black Britain. Surprisingly, Miss Flavour was by far the better show of the two - not that this was a difficult feat as the Miss Black Britain hosts were reading directly from clip boards??!!

The sound kept cutting out. I felt so sorry for the performers – especially my girl Katie Pearl who opened the show. The audio gymnastics completely ruined her set, proving to be a prophecy of the shambles we were about to witness.

The girls were walking in to each other on the runway and giving unimaginative and below average answers to REHEARSED questions. 3 of the 6 judges walked out half way through – Bashy, Sway and celebrity guest Nia Long. I was later told that Nia had been contracted to stay until 11pm which would’ve been fine had it started on time. But unfortunately proceedings kicked off an hour and a half late... *Ooops!*

Here are the winners

And here's who I think SHOULD have won

(courtesy of my official photographer KARL LAKE of SETPhotography)

She was smart, pretty, articulate and full of personality.

I liked her. Sadly, not enough to remember her name (I attribute this to the dire show as opposed to the girl herself).

I left feeling very disappointed with the calibre of girls shortlisted (for both pageants, might I add). In my opinion, beauty pageants should represent ALL things beautiful about a woman – not just her physical form. The winner should be intelligent, articulate, ambitious and charismatic. Only a handful of girls had all the aforementioned qualities. As a woman I felt slightly ashamed that they lived up to the stereotype to which beauty pageants have been labelled. The ladies on those stages represented BLACK beauty. Unfortunately, as a black woman I felt very much misrepresented. Hopefully, you will see better quality contestants next year.

*I say YOU because I have vowed never to go to another beauty pageant again. I fear I have been traumatised.*

Despite pageants not being for me - Well done to all those who participated. It cant be easy to get up infront of all those people and be subjected to such physical judgement so good on you!

Moving swiftly on -

My holiday to Jamaica is drawing ever closer (5 weeks i think?) and I’ve fallen off the BBR (buff body regime considerably. In a desperate bid to make ammends and salvage what little time I have left, I will be starting my gym sessions this week.

There is still hope!

One thing I have been sticking to is my natural hair regime (although i did straighten it for last weeks events)
As you can see, it’s beginning to look healthier and thicker...

Anyway, that’s all for now... thanks for everyone who expressed concern regarding my unhappy FB status on Sunday! A very special person cheered me up and I’m feeling a lot better. It’s nice to know who you can depend on...

Lotsa luv,

TB xx

Bonfires + tea tree oil

2009-11-09T18:01:00.004Z

Hey Guys,

How was your weekend? Mine was pretty average I must say. Chilled with the family and did a bit of shopping.
Got a pair of tims to replace my uggs (they’ve seen better days). Need some warm boots for NY this Xmas!

Interviewed Sean Kingston on Saturday which was cool and had fireworks in the garden with the brats (little cousins and god children) later the same day. I love hanging out with my family. As most of you know – I’m very much estranged from both my parents and being an only child, that can sometimes be tough. I guess that’s why family is so important to me, I appreciate them immensely! I forgot to bring my camera to the bonfire party so have no pictures to show you guys. Not that there would be many pics as it was so cold i watched the fireworks display from the conservatory. Part time diva I know. Lol.

Oh silly me – going on about my weekend when all you guys are interested in is Sean Kingston. Well he was a sweet guy. Can’t give you a rundown on the physical as he called me from America to do the interview. He spoke about his “haters” being “chubby” and a lot of personal stuff I really wasn’t expecting. I don’t know if he had been smoking or what but he really opened up! The interview will be out in the next issue of Flavour magazine – Will post links when i have them! The interview I did with Reem Kanj will also be in the same issue – so be sure to cop that!

Hmmm what else?

I finally got the footage from my Jon B interview after plenty delay and drama regarding the sound quality. Each interview I do is an improvement as it has never been my intention to do this in front of a camera. Anyway, as always I welcome your feedback and constructive criticism – please leave them on my twitter page >>>>

It’s such a massive improvement from my first interview – but the perfectionist in me realises I’ve still got a long way to go.

I am currently working on a show reel for the media section of my official site >>> which I hope to have up finished before I leave for Jamaica. There is no real rush really, but I hate loose ends – that one unfinished page on my website has been bugging the shit out of me. lol. To view my site you will need to download Microsoft Silverlight – it is free and not harmful to your PC. Its basically a better, updated version of flash so you know from the off you will be witnessing a super sexy and slick site lol x

Here is the footage from the Dfam video shoot for the new single “Blow me away”. Shout out to Castro as always – very talented and humble guy!

Notice how dude keeps snatching my mic! lol

Anyway, I think I‘ve rambled enough – Got to prepare for my interview with Pixie Lott tomorrow. Got a mammoth spot which has sprouted overnight on top my forehead so I am going to boots to see what I can get to sort it out. Havent had a spot in years - don’t even know where to start with the thing?! Lol. I’ve been advised to douse it in tea tree oil ... ?! As usual I will keep you updated with how that goes (the interview not the spot)

I’ll leave you with the trailer for the new DFam video – its gonna be big!

Have a great week Guys!

Lotsa luv, hugs and tea tree oil...

TB x x

2009-11-03T09:49:00.002Z

Guys I had the worst weekend ever. So bad in fact, that I deleted the entire post I wrote about it. I get a lot of you saying I should update my blog more often but I'm not sure if this is wise. My life is not full of swanky clubs, industry parties and celebrity interviews. I don't look fabulous everyday and I most certainly don't FEEL fabulous every day. I do the same mundane stuff like everyone else like get on the bus each morning for work, argue on the phone to orange when my phone bill is too high, forget my purse etc

I don't want my blog to be about negativity, with me constantly moaning about how crap my life is because actually, it really isn’t that bad. Plus, there are also things that I feel need to be kept private. Even though I love you guys and you make me smile, I still don't know ya... And I'm sure you don't want to hear about me ironing all day, or what I ate at nando's or what the postman said to me on my way out... you know, boring narcissistic things like that.

So yeah, I'll save the best bits for you cos you only deserve the best!

Have a great day,

Luv TB x x

Something for the weekend

2009-10-30T15:17:00.005Z

Hey Lovelies!!!

I don’t like to post random clips on my blog as I feel it’s a bit of a cop out, but I’m in such a good mood and have been smiling all day that I thought I’d try and put a smile on your faces too

Shout out to my yardie massive who could understand what my girl was saying! Lol.

Have a great weekend Guys and remember, if you can’t be good be sure not to tell anybody!

Luv

TB x x

The death of facebook?

2009-10-29T17:25:00.014Z

Logged into my Facebook account today with the express sole intention of tidying it up a bit. I never go on it anymore and when I do I just don’t enjoy it like I used to. Seeing my homepage reminded me exactly why this is the case – I had over 200 friend requests (mostly from half naked girls, DJ’s, and promoters??) and over 400 messages in my inbox!
Didn’t even look at the notifications or “other requests”

Went to my inbox and scanned message overview and wanted to scream!!! “Hey sexy, Wa gwarn, add me on BB, come to my rave, add my fan page/ group etc
Already I was exhausted.

Throughout 2009 Facebook has steadily picked up from where Hi5 Myspace and facepic all left off. It has become the social networking site of choice for shameless self promotion with naked girls trying to get legitimate modelling work and spam robots from hell (club promoters) being the worst culprits.

Okay so I’m not going to sit here like a pot and call the kettle black. Yeah, I may be a bit of an attention whore when I’m ready – and yeah, I’ll post up links to my blog or work I’ve had published. Yeah, I might go crazy with the picture uploads when I’ve had a good night out, however, I am never invasive. It begs the question, can you really have privacy when you expose yourself on the internet?

I mean really?
If you put yourself out there, can you really complain when a few undesirables stray your way?

Hmmm...

I have over 4k friends on Facebook due to the non discriminatory policy I exercise. I LOVE meeting new people, sharing experiences and exchanging wisdom with you guys. Similarly, I recognise that the more friends I have on FB the more people I can reach and perhaps, just maybe, more people will read my work. I’m not out here trying to be one of these new breed of “celebs” – known purely for exposing themselves on the internet. Yeah, there’s been the odd occasion where I’ve been recognised at events but that’s not why I am so open about my life online. I actually like to connect with people and I enjoy creating via wordplay. It’s so nice to get a chance to actually meet the people who read my work and take the time to interact with me online.

Believe it or not, I have real friends courtesy of the world wide web - some of which I haven’t even met yet! Like my Egyptian beauty Sara for example (going back to the my space days G!!), the gorgeous Lee’at (where are you girl?!) and my Boy Dwayne! Shout out to my FB friends Wilhelm, Ian G, Dwauen, Nadine, Chris Knight, Adam R, Raks and all the many many others (too many to name, forgive me) who keep me entertained daily. I consider these people to be friends as we have taken the time to get to know one another and maintained mutual respect throughout. They are able to contact me outside the realms of FB whether it be via phone or BB and they are not crazy! They are real, genuinely nice people who I really appreciate.

But then there is the other side to FB. The darker side that makes me want to delete my account and never look back. The FAKE side of FB that is slowly making me disconnect from it. Where are the REAL pictures of you chilling with your family and friends on holiday

or eating out with friends

or pulling goofy faces and doing dumb stuff that you really shouldnt be documenting on camera...

Or just being real???

Why must every pretty girl be a model or want to be a model? Why must every guy be a gangsta with so many “haters” hating on them whilst they are simply “keepin it real in da hood”?

Why must every picture you post be either naked or airbrushed? Further more, why do you pout in every picture of yours, do you not have teeth? (It’s okay to smile I promise, the guys will still think you are sexy...)
Do you go anywhere else but the club or do you work there? Must every status update be about how amazing you are or how amazing everyone else thinks you are? Have you done anything of real notoriety that I should want to join your fan page?

Sorry who are you again?

Do you see where I’m going with this...

I just want to see something REAL people.
Or at least something NEW damn it! Lol
I’M DYING OUT HERE!!
No seriously –
I actually can’t take any more!

Having 4k people on your friends list does not make you famous, and more pointedly, in the real world – no one cares!
Having 500 men inbox you for your number doesn’t make you kriss...

Call me a “hater” if you want to...

So there.

**BTW whilst I was writing this I had like 40 facebook notifications pop up via my msn – all (minus 3) SPAM invites to Halloween parties this weekend. Can I live?!
Completely lost my train of thought now... maybe I should wrap this up?

I guess, in summation, this is my plea to save facebook! Don’t turn it to wastebook 2009!

But if you insist on doing so, there is always twitter...
Add me...*www.twitter.com/toyaberry

Lol.

Lotsa luv, hugs, kisses and SPAM bitches!!!

TB x x

Curly Sue

2009-10-23T16:37:00.008+01:00

Okay....

So, I have made the conscious decision to go au natural when it comes to my hair. I’m not getting into the “Good hair” debate (although I can’t wait to see that film!), I am simply doing what I feel is best for me. For years I’ve been straightening my naturally curly hair. I even became addicted to weave after having to wear it for photo shoots and events. Think I was trying to be Beyonce for a minute – but I’m over that now. Lol.

Time to be me.

Just me :-)

I know you guys are probably reading this and thinking what is the big deal? What you need to realise is that I don’t actually remember what I looked liked with curls. It’s like looking into the mirror and seeing a complete stranger...
I just don’t feel like Toya Berry anymore...

As my hair is “mixed” finding the right hair care balance is almost impossible! Black hair products are too heavy/ greasy and weigh my hair down. White hair products are too light and don’t keep the frizz at bay. It’s a near impossible task!
So I thought I’d try both...

“Here comes the science..”

So I popped into boots and bought Aussie shampoo, conditioner and curl activating mousse

(I swear by the Aussie range! It’s amazing!)

Then I popped down to Streatham and grabbed some organics deep root penetrating home treatment and carrot oil (Cos curly hair can be quite dry – you’ve got to retain the moisture)

And so I got home with a bag full of hair products and a heart full of good intentions!
But then I had a photo shoot on Saturday.
You can figure out the rest...

I know, I know, I know.
I hang my head in shame.

The shoot was for the University of Creative arts and I had to shoot on location in Farnham. Can anyone say M-I-S-S-I-O-N ? We had to shoot in some forested woodland area out by this eerie lake. It kind a looked something like this

I'm not even kidding.
It was mad cold. Like freezing! And there was a wild rabid dog that kept crashing the shoot

Slight exaggeration. It wasn’t rabid.
:/

Cant post any more pics of the shoot as the images haven’t been officially released and I could get into trouble. What I did notice was that my belly was looking awfully ROUND in this shoot. I think my recent man drama has got me eating my feelings or something. Jamaica is 9 weeks away and it’s not about trying to tuck in your belly LOL.

Buff Body Regime starts tomorrow!

Watch this space...

Love TB x

Devil's Music..?

2009-10-22T17:30:00.010+01:00

Hey Guys!

So whilst perusing the US gossip sites this afternoon (you guys know how I love a bit of gossip with my lunch time pig out) I stumbled upon this

Now I don't know who the hell Tiffany Evan's is, nor do I care much. But I was intrigued by the comments she made about an industry of which she is still very much a part of. I'm not sure if her position in the industry strengthens or weakens the validity of her argument. I'm sure there will be people who say she is calling out Rihanna just to grab headlines and boost record sales. I'm sure there will be others who will call her a "hater" or an "attention whore". But the rumours tying Hip Hop to the occult have been around for a long time now and they just won't go away. It begs the question, "Is there no smoke without fire?"

She makes valid points regarding the influence of music and how powerful it is. I defy you to tell me you don't get a little bit hyped when listening to Young Jeezy (I think I'm a GANGSTA when "Trapstar" comes on lol). Or that you don't feel the painful side of love when Corinne Bailey Rae sings “Like a Star”...??? Truth is, music effects our mood, our actions, and depending on the message - what we choose to believe in...

I like to think that I am of strong character. For example - I can listen to Rihanna's new single "Russian Roulette" and appreciate it for what it is at face value - Another sad love song. Call it a suicide anthem if you want to... I'm not about to shoot myself. But let's just say if I was indeed heartbroken and couldn’t see a future without my love, would suicide be a more tangible option after hearing a track like "Russian Roulette?"

A song where the protagonist laments my pain as though it were hers? A song that speaks to me, that I identify with...

Think about it.

I'm not a fan of Rihanna. I hate the fact that someone can reach such dizzy heights of wealth and stardom singing like a mule?! She has NO personality, NO stage presence, NO originality NO talent. I am a fan of her image - she is the black Victoria Beckham with meat on. I'd be lying if I said she wasn’t the baddest in the style game right now. But she is not real. Her career and image is carefully orchestrated. It makes me wonder, if we can all be so taken in by the facade that is Rihanna (Lady Gaga is another) then what is it that we really idolise? Is it talent or success? Truth or wealth? Beauty or justice? Where are all the real artists with positive messages for our generation to look up to? We need another Bob Marley. Another Michael Jackson. Real artists with Real things to say.

I'm tired of having my brain polluted with this regurgitated, manufactured music with NO SUBSTANCE. It is hollow! And if you take it too seriously, you will become hollow, focusing on the things in life that are not REAL...

Since the Lenon Honor films dropped I have not heard one Hip Hop celeb NOT be associated with the occult. Fact is, we have all sold a little bit of our soul for something we once desired, only to realise it doesn’t bring the happiness we originally sought. Whether it be a job, a partner, those Louis Vuitton kicks you know full well you can't afford; Whether you are hustling on the streets destroying one man's family to better your own, or lying to protect those you love... no matter how it's "justified", we all have a little bit of the devil in us. I guess it’s all about maintaining that equal balance, and not becoming the devil that will ultimately destroy us. It's our responsibility to educate our minds, be aware of what's going on in the world and not allow ourselves to be spoon fed the fake shit that is plaguing our TV's and our Radios. So what if Rihanna worships the Devil. Does she pay you? Does she care about you and how your family eat when she is singing her auto-tuned garbage in her couture outfits equivalent to your monthly mortgage???

I am in no way trying to induce mass paranoia or spurt forth sacrilegious fanaticism. All I'm saying is, focus on what's real. Let them make the Devils music. Listen to it if you choose to - I do. But listen with a strong mind and a strong heart. If you are religious, Keep God in your mind, get out of bed in His name and go to sleep in His name and don’t let music and movies have a huge influence on your life - the mind is a powerful thing. Don't let others take your power!!!!

*Okay I'll get off of my soapbox now*

I wasnt going to post any pics of Rihanna looking demonic and the rest of it, but I really couldn't resist. How can you go from this...

TO THIS...

Devil worshipping or just a good stylist..?

Listening to "(for the love of) MONEY " by Charli Baltimore as I feel it couldn’t be more apt... lots of music links in this post - enjoy :)

TB xx

TV sucks...

2009-10-14T10:28:00.005+01:00

Following up from my last post (winter depression blah blah blah) I have kept to my promise of hibernation and have not been out all week! Friday night was the hardest. I was just so ridiculously bored and lonely and really wanted to go out. But, (as if you didn’t know) I am a woman of my word, so indoors I stayed!

Now, I have a love hate relationship with TV. I hate it because there is too much choice but not enough content with substance. I hate it because what is shown on TV is not a true representation of what is going on in the world, nor is it a true representation of the people who live in it. I hate TV because at best, it is a clever tool to brainwash the young, uneducated and the narrow minded... but that’s a whole OTHER blog! I very rarely watch TV, but when I do I indulge! In fact I overdose! My TV remains on E!Channel with intermittment breaks to BBC News 24 to keep my sanity intact.

Although I refuse to waste my life away in front of a television screen, I do see how TV can provide escapism from a busy day, offer light hearted or comedic relief, or in some rare instances, broaden your mind. I can’t bear to watch trash like X Factor and the likes or the 500 soaps on TV. I am just too busy to revolve my life around a television schedule. But, when I do get the urge to watch (as I did on Friday when I was home alone bored and E!Channel had planted seeds of escaping to Hollywood and become an overnight star in my mind), I turn to the net...

Below you will find a few of the random bits and pieces I’ve been watching this week as my winter hibernation begins.

Mike Tyson on Oprah

(had me in tears!!!)

Hometruths about Diddy + the rap game

You know I love a bit of gossip... will definitely be getting THAT book! lol

The above clip will be revisted in a later post but please watch - its an interesting take on why black women cannot find a good man...

I’ve also been reading “The Time Travellers Wife” by Audrey Niffenegger. I prefer a good book to TV any day! Need to find my copy of “The Coldest Winter Ever” by sista souljah. One of my favourite books of all time... wouldn’t mind reading it again...

Okay so I’m off now. But before I go, take a look at my girl SAIRA AWAN’s new site
She’s a very talented photographer and has worked with me on some of my biggest interviews (Jagged Edge, So Solid, Katie Pearl to name a few). Please check out her site. If you go to her “published” section you will also see some of my articles!

I'll leave you with this:

Let it be your mantra today and for the weeks ahead...

Hope you all have a productive day!

Lotsa luv,

TB x x

Hello Winter...

2009-10-08T17:03:00.008+01:00

So the summer has well and truly gone! Think I blinked because I definitely missed it...

I think I have chronic S.A.D (seasonal affective disorder) – actually I am sure of it! I am sleeping more than usual and every day it gets darker and colder, is the more de-motivated I am to do a damn thing. I checked it out on Wikipedia and this is what came up;
“some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed.”

Call me a hypochondriac –but this describes my LIFE these past few weeks. All I have is my youth and my health and I’m not getting any younger so the older I get, the more paranoid about my health I become. I Google everything and it only takes one thing to be out of place for me to be first in the doctors surgery!

I can hardly take over the world if I am sick and bedridden (and old) Lol.

So, to combat my depression I have been feeding my online shopping addiction! I now have a wardrobe full of party dresses that I probably won’t wear till next summer as I rarely go out in the winter. Hibernation for me begins mid to late October for those of you who don’t know! Lol. All the dresses are all similar in style – short, tight and comfy (I love a tight colourful mini dress lol) and some are even the exact same dress in different colours... (not serious, i know). What I need to be doing is eating more oily fish and getting stuck in to vitamins. Even exercising can get the happy hormones circulating.

The only thing keeping my spirits up is the thought of going home to Jamaica for Xmas!

Beautiful beaches...

Who knows about Juici patties??! And REAL jamaican rum punch! lol

Watching the sun rise and set un-interrupted whilst you make plans for the future...

Oh I just cant wait to fly away and say "SEE YA" to London

Cant wait to say Bye to this cold weather, cold people, crap food and crap music! PAHHHH

Until then I will remain a sad, lonely, OLD, depressed workaholic...

Back to bed I go...

dont wake me up...

TB x x

Red Indian

2009-10-05T12:08:00.012+01:00

What a sorry state I am this Monday Morning!

I am looking out of the window (yawning) as I write this. It is grey and wet and cold. I’ve got my uggs on and an oversized fleece that I found in the boot of my car (Thank God!). I’m hungry but the thought of going out in the rain doesn’t appeal.

Boy, am I looking rough!

Feeling rough too... had an epic weekend! It’s strange how work will be just dead and then, out of nowhere, I’ve got a workload as long as my legs (and my legs are bloody long! Lol).

Friday night I was in Brighton with my girl supporting our boy Kenny who is Hove’s undisputed cage fighter! Yes I said CAGE fighter. Lol. I may not look like the type to partake in such sports but I absolutely LOVED it. Such a great night out. All the girlies get dressed up in their sequinned dresses and heels and you get to eat and drink at your table ringside. Unfortunately, I don’t have any pics as Kenny knocked out his opponent in under 2 minutes... ahhh well – next time.

Saturday I was on the road like a bonafide gipsy! Left my house at 8.30 in the morning and didn’t get back in till after 10 at night! As my twitter friends would know, I was on a hunt for a sari for a fancy dress party I was going to (more on that later). I was in Tooting at 9am sharp hunting for the perfect sari... you would have thought that this would be a simple task due to the location, but it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack -a very expensive needle at that. A decent sari is £200 easily... who knew?! So after I purchased a sari within my budget I had to dash across London to interview Tevin Campbell before he left to go to Choice fm studios (yh, I got in there first baybayyy! Haha). Tevin was a nice guy. Quiet and intelligent. He got a bit ratty when he thought people were listening to our conversation, but on the whole he was cool. I can imagine that he can be a bit of a diva though...

Random observation – The guy was wearing like 5 layers of clothing??! He had like 3 t-shirts on plus a fleece and jacket... We spoke about his childhood career, the pitfalls of stardom and his comeback. Not sure how interested anyone is in a Tevin Campbell comeback... I mean he did leave it so long... I was like 9 or 10 when he disappeared lol. I even almost cancelled the interview with him to finish shopping for my sari – so yeah, if that’s any indication as to how interested people are it doesn’t bode well... I’m just saying... lol. I wish him all the best, he seems like a nice guy (and NO l did not ask about the gay rumours... I started leading up to it by asking about MJ and how rumours had dogged his career, but then he got this twitch in his eye and I chickened out LOL).
Shout out to my girl Portia who was there also, looking every inch the diva in a black fur coat and black boots

So, after that, I had to chip across to Clapham real quick to go behind the scenes of DFams new video “Blow me away”

I was actually filming this interview for internet station UK Community Eye TV. Now as you know, writing is my thing. Modeling is my part time thing... presenting is not something I had ever really considered. I did a test run with the film crew a few months back and actually surprised myself. I wasn’t GREAT! But I was pretty damn good for my first attempt even if I do say so myself. So good in fact that I have been contracted to present for UK Community Eye TV for the next 6 months! Happy days :-) Once the footage has been edited and posted I will give you guys the link – should have it by tomorrow with any luck.

Okay so after Clapham, back to Bayswater I went for Jon B’s interview. This was a completely different set up – a big conference room with all the journo’s eye balling each other . Nothing like the private interviews I’m used to doing. I was so nervous.
So so nervous.
But, sometimes nerves is a good thing, and the interview went so well that I was laughing at how scared I had been initially. Silly billy.

Jon B is actually adorable. So genuine and so ridiculously humble. He spoke of his love for music, his daughter and his wife. He was so easy to talk to, so animated and passionate. LOVED him. Shorter than you’d expect though. But they always are...?!

Wrapped up Jon B – Stopped in ASK and battered some pasta and meatballs because I had forgotten to eat all day with the running up and down! Got home, bathed, and spent almost a WHOLE HOUR trying to figure out how to wrap that damn sari?! I failed miserably – i doesn’t look anything how its supposed to

But I think I pulled it off anyway.

Just.

Shout out to my girl Kelly-Jade whose birthday we were actually celebrating -

Birthday Girl. Doesn’t she look cute?!

Everyone really put the effort in which was so cool. I would definitely go to another one! Got home after 4am and literally slept the whole of Sunday. I have never been so tired in my life! Seriously. I had no energy whatsoever. Even missed the Jon B concert at the 02 

Anyway – this weekend I am not going anywhere! I am staying in with my laptop and I will work from home in my PJ’s surrounded by food and more food! I actually cannot wait!

Shout out to Castro (such a sweetie), Skye, Portia, Johnny K and Destiny of Diamond Diva’s. Good to see you guys as always, nomatter how brief!

Well, I am going to venture out as I feel me losing weight as I type. I am THAT hungry!
Hope you are all having a great Monday.

Love TB

Aka Red Indian x x

Belated Bday Diva

2009-09-30T12:46:00.010+01:00

I don’t even know how to start this post. I actually feel so so bad that I’ve neglected my blog for over 2 weeks. Shameful I know – I need to do better. I will do better! Promise x

I guess I should start off with my birthday... what a bag of drama THAT was... I hate to get back on my male bashing soapbox but JESUS! This guy put me through it on my big day. Made me cry and everything. I can’t really go into it as it will only bring about a whole other drama but he basically put himself in charge of my birthday and tells me to cancel all plans for the weekend to only then go and cancel everything.

Everything.

Now, please understand that this is a delicate situation... I’m not trying to air out other people’s business on the internet – only my own Lol. For this reason, I won’t go into the finer details as to WHY it was cancelled etc... but however you want to look at it, it was a very spiteful thing to do.
Unforgiveable.
I mean, if you’re holding bad feeling towards someone, spit it out. I may be a cow bag sometimes, but even I deserve a birthday and I was in tears at the fact that he tried to take that away from me. I don’t have a large family, I’m an only child and my parents aren’t around, so (without trying to sound too emotional) Christmases and birthdays are a bit of a sad time for me and that’s all I’m going to say about that. My friends are my family. So yeah – I was in pieces when that went down...

On a brighter note, he got me a MASSIVE cake from Cipriani (only because, and l quote “it was too late to cancel it –been pre-ordered”. Nice)

He didn’t understand why l then declined on numerous occasions to eat it.
Go figure.
So I spent my birthday delivering cake to my friends and family. Leaving the majority at Lucie’s house (It would’ve got thrown over Croydon flyover otherwise). She had made me a Mexican bday dinner when I phoned her in tears -but I was too upset to eat. You guys know that I have a very healthy appetite, but when I am upset or worried I literally cannot eat a thing! After dinner, I then went to East to see my boy and he cheered me up. It wasn’t the glamorous birthday I had envisioned – but it highlighted who my true friends are and for that I am truly blessed!
So anyway, I celebrated my bday a week late at Gauchos with my people

Then after dinner went to shake a leg at Ghost with my girl Nics...

Met up with my Barbie girl Zena on Saturday for an alfresco lunch on Richmond river. I call her Barbie because she has a Barbie figure and a full head of amazing blonde hair.

I LOVE this girl. The stories we could tell... lol

I’ve got a few dinners and things lined up this week with friends and family who couldn’t make it down to Gauchos’ on Friday so I will be FAT by the end of the week no doubt. Shout out to Char for last night’s local treat! (I am still pissed at those boog cocktails I picked lol). I really need to take my buff body regime more seriously so I will gyming it out after this weeks indulgences.

I’ve been back on track with my yoga (my future husband will be a very lucky man Lol) so I just need to get my 4 pack back in preparation for Jamaica this year. Chocs – holla at me! I’m ready for a workout!

In other news, I attended the UK funky live concert in Wembley. It was a good effort by all and I’m sure the next one will be even better! A blog went around reviewing the event and let’s just say a lot of people’s feelings got hurt. Everyone (including acts from the night) were slating this blogger and it made me get really angry. I mean, people were in uproar! For what?! The dude is entitled to his opinion. Its just ONE person. Not everyone is going to like you – it does not make them a hater and it does not mean the world is against you?! I thought it was really pathetic and I had a bit of a rant on twitter...

Lost about 8 followers but then gained another 15 so I guess its whatever. Not everyone is going to like what I’ve got to say. At the end of the day it’s a massive achievement for UK music and the Funky house scene as a movement! I mean, to have a host of UK artists (a majority of whom only have one single) to even grace the stage at Wembley arena where LEGENDS have performed... well I think that’s pretty blessed...
Special shout out to my girls KATIE PEARL and co presenter YONZ. Great job girls! xx

Anyway, I’ve got a few bits on the agenda for this week – shoot on Saturday, interviews with DFam and Mr Midas this weekend, plus Jon B concert at the 02. Day 26 have requested to do a follow up interview when they’re in the UK next month which I’m pretty pleased about, as well as Style P and Q from 112. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on that and post the links once I have them!

Okay so I’ve written so much now, I hope it can make up for my 2 week absence.
Hope I’m forgiven...

Have a great day guys,

Luv TB x x x

Moody Cow

2009-09-15T11:41:00.007+01:00

Hey Guys,

It’s my birthday this Sunday and as usual around birthdays I get a little depressed. Not because I am getting old. No - that is something I fully embrace, enjoy and love. I honestly believe I get better with age! The people I have met and the adventures I’ve been on have all contributed to my mental and spiritual growth which is definitely not a negative! I think of myself at 20 and shudder at how young and dumb I was then lol.

No, birthdays depress me because I am reminded of the pressures I have put on myself in term of career and physical rewards of success. Every year I draw up a list separated in two (6 months each list). On this list is my goals for the year, all of which are baby steps that are essential to the ultimate goal – SUCCESS! Looking at my list, yeah I’ve done well, but that is not enough for me. It’s the glass half empty syndrome as opposed to the glass half full. I dwell over all the things I am yet to achieve as opposed to all the things I HAVE achieved.

So, all of last week I have walking around with a face like this

Feeling sorry for myself because I’ve had the same car for almost 2 years and I want a new ridiculously expensive one.

Moaning because I’ve been looking for my dream home for almost 6 months and still haven’t found it yet.

Beating myself up because certain projects are moving slower than forecast.

I’ve been the moodiest cow alive this week I don’t know how anyone actually put up with me! I was actually impossible!!!

Don’t get me wrong – there are other (more personal issues) that have been on my mind as well as the above, but it still doesn’t give me the right to be a complete arse.

So, I am sorry.

Yes.
I said it.

So now it’s business as usual. Throwing myself into work once again and getting back to my old self! I have a tonne of work stacked up to keep me busy over my birthday weekend (nope, I have no definitive plans as of yet). Met up with the beautiful Reem Kanj to discuss modelling, business and taking over the world! Lol. I’m working on a new feature for Flavour magazine which puts the spotlight on rising talent (which you all know I am a firm advocate of!) I feel that Reem is definitely one to watch and so she fit the bill perfectly! Check out her website >>>> www.reemkanj.co.uk

I will post up the link to the article once it’s live. For now I have really got to dash.

Bye for now! And remember, count your blessings, not your disappointments...

TB x x

a.k.a

FYI - I'm a writer

2009-09-08T12:38:00.003+01:00

Hey lovelies!!!

Okay, so I’ve been mad BUSY the last couple of weeks and my schedule is filling up fast for the weeks to come. Thought I’d post up a few links to the work I have had published this month – as I really don’t do it as often as I should. All these party pictures and the like – you guys have probably forgotten what it is that I actually do! Lol.

So – first up is Jagged Edge. If you remember, Me and my girl headed down to their concert at the Proud Galleries in August. Kelz was there on behalf of UW and I on behalf of Flavour magazine. You can read our joint efforts here...
***Jagged Edge interview***

I was also lucky enough to catch up with Truth of H Money a few weeks back. You and I may not be hugely familiar with him but if you are in the music game I’m sure you would have come across this guy at some point. He has worked with everyone worth working with in the UK and is now based in LA where he is signed to Rodney Jerkins label - Dark Child.
***Truth Interview***

Check out the video too starring my girl Bianca Simmone – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this chick is everywhere! Lol

I also did a follow up interview with Mega from So Solid off of the back of my flavour article. Whether you are a fan or not, I suggest you take a look as it is an interesting read even if I do say so myself. Love him or hate him, Mega does not mince his words...
***Mega Man interview***

Resuming my yoga lessons Today! Actually very excited. Need to get that dreaded tummy right for JA this Xmas. I know the yardie men don’t care about a big belly but I DO! Lol. Gym starts tomorrow too – I am not ramping guys! I am going to be so buff by Xmas – just you wait and see!

I was tempted to do a before and after shot of the belly, but then thought better of it... lol

Have a great day peeps!

TB x x

Asia's Big Day! (Pt 2)

2009-09-07T11:38:00.006+01:00

Good Morning guys!

I’m going to keep this post short and sweet – Just thought I’d upload some of the pictures from my God-daughters christening that I promised you AGES ago. I just didn’t get round to doing it and yes, it did slip my mind momentarily – please forgive me! I know it’s a bit of a cheat to just upload pics... but it’s a Monday... you can let me off this once right???

Check out Shiv's dress... STUNNING!

My beautiful cousin Jada - everyone thought she was my daughter?! Honestly - I dont look THAT old do I??? lol

My beautiful fellow God-mothers - Sherrie, Tasha and Jehnelle x x

As god mother, I had to make a speech which (between me and you) I had not prepared as I thought I was goin gto get myself out of it... no such luck lol

All worn out after her big day...

It really was a beautiful day... Gave me all sorts of crazy ideas for my own christening and I dont even have a little brat of my own yet...! I have decided I am getting a puppy as a trial run. I have my eye set on a King charles spaniel or a mix... like a cockalier or something. I need to get my practise in!! lol

Anyway guys, enjoy your Monday,

Lotsa Luv,

TB x x

Crack is WACK

2009-09-04T10:32:00.008+01:00

Last night on Twitter a friend of mine posted up a naked picture of Maia Campbell looking as high as a kite as well as footage of her cussin’ out like a crackhead. Some of you may not have any clue who Maia is – well let me fill you in. Maia Campbell was the baddest dark skin chick on American TV in the late nineties. She starred alongside Janet Jackson and Tupac in Poetic Justice and had a leading role alongside LL Cool J’s show “In Da House”. I remember watching her and wanting to be just like her. She was so ridiculously beautiful...
On the verge of super stardom...

And then to THIS...

Its reported that she is on everything from crack cocaine to crystal meth. I’ve been on forums and read stories from guys who claim to have slept with her for a rock?! Now I don’t know how true these stories are, but I do know that one thing is clear – this girl needs an intervention. Divine or otherwise. She is 32, washed up, has a daughter she can’t find, and is in serious need of help. It actually broke my heart to see how badly this girl has fallen! It is so tragic in fact, that I felt compelled to write this post. Her story highlights the pitfalls of this industry. Please don’t be naive to what’s going on! A lot of the celebrities we revere are addicts >>> Lil Wayne, Kate Moss, Kerry Katona, Katt Williams,DMX,D'Angelo,Britney Spears...the list goes on...

This subject is particularly close to my heart as I have close family members who have fallen victim to addiction. I’ve seen first-hand how drugs can destroy a person, a family and a home. On a serious note guys, drugs are not cool. I don’t care if the person taking it is the biggest rapper or the world’s greatest super model – Drugs are for losers. For the weak. If you don’t have it in you to go to the club and dance on tables, or to take home that guy you like and lay down, or to steal from your friends etc then why take drugs to do those things? It is not the real you. And if you are scared to be the real you then there is a problem... address it... don’t use drugs to mask it...

Not everything that glitters is gold...

TB xx

Bank Holiday Madness Pt 2

2009-09-02T17:36:00.021+01:00

Hey Guys,

So another Bank holiday weekend has come and gone! Each time I say I will not venture out to the clubs my resolve is weakened. For me, Bank Holiday is an extra day to get stuff done I wouldn’t ordinarily have time to do. Getting tipsy in the club and then wasting half the following day in bed is not very productive! I’m hardly going to build my empire with a dirty great migraine to contend with! But no matter my arguments, I am always coaxed out! I really need to learn to say NO!!! Lol.
Friday night I was at Aura...

And then to my usual spot on Edgeware road for a bite to eat...

Saturday I stayed at home... attempted to do some work... all was going okay until my blog page went down! I had to fling up a default page until I could locate my template on my hard-drive. ALWAYS back up guys! My template has been custom made so I would actually cry if it got wiped completely! Not everything was salvaged – pictures of my beautiful friends have all disappeared, but I will definitely be uploading them again soon.

Sunday I was at Maya. I was the only girl rolling that night and it just wasn’t the same without my girls. Had fun with the guys though and bumped into RYAN LESLIE! For those of you who don’t know him check out the clip below. He is MASSIVE in the states and has swagger for days. I was too shy to ask for a picture with him as I am a die-hard FAN! After you watch this clip you will see why...

Now tell me the man is not amazing? Lol.

I hit Jalouse on Monday after a lazy day chillaxing in Clapham Common. The venue is amazing and it is one of the few places in London where VIP is actually VIP! Velvet ropes and security at the ready, not like other clubs I could mention. I had ordered this gorgeous teal dress online which took forever to come but was worth the wait! I have ordered another 8 dresses from the site and can’t wait for them to arrive! So anyway, it was a great night and I even got to meet a few of my Facebook friends for the first time which was cool. It’s so nice to be able to meet the people I talk to online every day. There are some people (and I’m going back to myspace days) who I’ve formed genuine friendships with. Thinking of having a Facebook party for all my virtual friends. Would you come? Lol.

Check out my purse - isnt it Bangin!!!

cant fit a damn thing in it though! Lol

My night ended perfectly with Roses (and food at my favourite spot of course). I was literally walking back to my car to meet the gang at Edgware rd when a guy selling roses came and gave me a single red rose. Then he came back with a whole bunch! And then he came back with another and another and another... My car was practically full of roses!!!! When I got home I counted them – I had over 80 roses!!!

Who says romance is dead?
Guys take note!

TB x x

Copycat

2009-08-30T00:29:00.004+01:00

I am so livid right now!

Just logged on to my Facebook and received a msg from one of my FB friends saying to check out the profile of miss “Rayshann Banks”. I thought it odd... but decided to take a look anyway...

What I saw angered me beyond belief.

I was looking at a picture of myself!!! I was like WTF? You have got to be kidding me right???

What kind of psycho befriends you on FB, steals your pictures, and then creates a fake profile on the internet? They say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery... and I can see how you would come to such a conclusion... but honestly guys – Copy cats are just so infuriating! Worst thing about it is, this girl could have been potentially damaging to my career. I couldn’t see her profile as I would have had to add her (or me) as a friend – but you can imagine the implications of a dodgy status or two. Apparently this girl had been giving out her number on there... I mean, really, what was you gonna do if dude asked to link up???

Answers on a post card please... kmt

So anyway, I msg’d the girl and very politely told her (in no uncertain terms) to take my pictures down.... and according to a few of my FB friends, they said the same thing to her... just not as politely... lol

So anyway, the moral of this story is that if you right click someone’s picture on FB to pass off as your own, your are slightly weird, you will get caught out and you will NOT get any love from me!

So on that note, I will leave you guys to be inspired to create something unique and original instead of re-creating something that’s already been done. Let’s not be a “Rayshann Banks”!

Much love as always,

The REAL

TB x x

Lazy days & Spa weekends x

2009-08-20T16:45:00.004+01:00

Hey Guys,

Hope you are all well and enjoying the glorious weather we’ve been having! Unfortunately I haven’t really had the opportunity to soak up the sun. I’ve been too busy planning to take over the world... lol *wink. I did venture out this week though for a picnic (well, a crate of Pret and a few bottles of Rose) in Regents Park. Even played a game of Rounders (albeit, quite terribly). It was a really nice day... Stayed till late watching the sky...

stuffing my face... Sleeping...

Hiding from the camera... (my hair was mess lol)

I have been really trying to get some more “me” time. It is difficult trying to find the time for all your friends, family, work and then leisure time. But I am getting better at it. Sometimes you just have to say – “NO” I’m not going to that party tonight or “NO” I am not going to work through the night to reach your impossible deadline. I even went for a spa weekend and left my laptop at HOME! No work, blackberry off. I wish my company had done the same but the hustle never sleeps I guess...

I must say I had a brilliant time. I was thoroughly pampered and in all honesty it was exactly what I needed. I came back, batteries re-charged, feeling refreshed and ready to start the daily grind...

I actually went to Birmingham for this pampered weekend. It was just good to get out of London, change of scenery... Ate well, partied hard – even had a bit of spearmint fun (not the mint variety) and just let loose for a while. I highly recommend that you all try and get some “me time” this week. Even if it’s just a long bath with your phones off. Its healthy! Lol

So, yh, apart from that I have been a bit cryptic and philosophical on my twitter and FB lately. Not on purpose - I guess I’ve just been really reflective the past few weeks. Self evaluation is key to your growth- REAL TALK. I have been trying a few new things... different circle of friends, haunts and men... and I’m learning so much more about myself and what it takes to make me happy in the process. I am on the verge of finding a balance between work and all other things non-work... once I get there I think I will be in a very happy place. I think I need to stop relying on my work to make me happy and allow others to have a go...

just a thought...

I’m off to view an apartment now. It’s in a highly sought after private estate in south London and I’ve had my eye on it for a while. Hopefully my girl will love it and we can move in swiftly... fingers crossed...

Relax and don’t work too hard...

Lots love,

TB

Watch this video clip, it’s so ridiculously funny, had me in stitches... Hope it puts a smile on your face as big as the one on mine :-)

Starr cars launch party...

2009-08-12T13:59:00.013+01:00

Thought I’d upload a few of the pics from the Starr Cars launch I went to last week (think I mentioned it briefly in a previous post). I was asked to provide some eye candy for the night (check out Mewla posing on the Lambo) as well as support my boy in his new business venture...

http://www.starr-cars.com/

Wishing them success...

Oh, before I forget, I have a 75% off studio shoot for this Sunday. My official photographer gave it to me for friends and family but no-one is available this weekend. If you want to take advantage or know anyone who may want to kick start their folio then get at me via FB and I'll hook it up! For examples of some of his work, check out my portfolio on my website www.toyaberry.com

Catch up later guys :-)

TB x x

Asia's Big Day!

2009-08-11T12:53:00.003+01:00

Hello beautiful people!

I am feeling so wrecked today – Literally do not have the energy to write this post so bear with me! Lol. Since the last time I wrote you guys I have been busy with my promo girls as well as sorting out my living space. It’s crazy – I have been (half) looking for a new place since I got back from Trinidad in March, but my work schedule just won’t allow me to view properties or scour the net. My friend has offered me the use of his PA for the next month or so, just to help me get back on track... think I need to take him up on his offer as I just cannot think straight right now. Got my fingers in so many pies that I’m beginning to get a bit sticky – haha.

So, in order to reorganise myself I am going for a spa break this weekend to relax my mind and get my thoughts together. Without going into too much detail, my body has been doing a madness due to the stresses l’ve been putting on myself recently. Lack of sleep and irregular, unbalanced meals have been causing me to feel dizzy (sometimes faint) and I’ve even had the odd spot! Lol. I need to take better care of myself, but it’s difficult when you are always on the go. Hopefully, when I return from my spa break, I will be fully focused and ready to go! (assuming my spa partner doesn’t give me headache..! Lol)

Still recovering from the Christening on Sunday! As you know, I was absolutely dreading it! I did not want go and thought there were a few people I might have to smack down... But as usual, when you face your fears head on they are never as bad as they seem. It was actually a beautiful day! The sun was out, Asia was in her element and looked adorable in her Dior dress and matching shoes. I’ve only got a few pics at the moment as we are still waiting for the images from the photographer...

Sorry – no pics of me JUST YET or the guests – but I will get some soon and upload, promise. Wait till you see my dress – IT was Banging! Lol. Well, I had to represent as a godmother!!!

Attempting to clean up my Facebook account today. As my status says, I will be blocking and deleting all promoters who I don’t know personally or who I have never spoken to online. If you should dare to send any spam type shit to my inbox, you will be removed ! You have been warned! Lol. I am compiling a list of the culprits and will get to deleting by the end of the week. I have almost 800 unread msgs in my inbox and I bet 95% of them is spam! I honestly can’t take any more! Lol

What else...

I think that’s about it... there are some other things that I wanted to share with you guys, but I think it’s wise to hold back for the moment. There is something new I’m working on right now which I am getting stuck in to but as you know, I like to show and prove. Talk is cheap as they say...

So on that note, I’m going to leave you. My belly is crying for some food anyway... but what’s new? Lol

Lotsa Luv,

TB x x x

Wife or Wifey?

2009-08-05T14:32:00.009+01:00

So I came across this post and just had to repost it. I think it completely reiterates what I was saying in my “Settle for your love” post but from a man’s perspective...

"A young lady on twitter asked me whats the difference between being a wife and being a "wifey". I started to laugh but I had to realize that many women today honestly dont know what seperates the two, let alone the true definition of being a wife anymore. Most sistas just wanna get married, but not many wanna be a wife. I see so many women bragging about how shes some guys "wifey" which in my opinion is a low standard for any woman. So I will compare and contrast the difference between wife and "wifey".

A WIFE...

• never has to compete with other women because she is the only woman her man is seeing, "talking to", and interested in. She knows this from his actions. Not just his words.
• The wife knows her mans family and friends. She usually has her mans parents or guardians blessings. Along with his friends. If her lifelong partner's friends and family dont approve of her chances are she isnt going to be his wife.
• A man treats his wife with the utmost respect. Never cheats on her, or lies to her, or treat her like a jumpoff, a "main" or his "wifey".
• The wife usually sees a side of her partner that no one else sees. She knows her man inside and out. His darkest thoughts, secrets, etc. There are no mysteries. No cloudy areas. Everything is in the open.
• The wife is the woman who a man chooses to spend the rest of his life with. She gets the marriage proposal, the ring, and everything that man has to offer her for a lifetime.

A "WIFEY"...

• Is the woman who a man spends all of his time with. Usually been with for a long time. Maybe even live with. But isnt married or engaged. Ever thought why? Keep reading...
• Men know whether he is going to marry a woman in the early stages of the relationship. It takes us men no time to see if a woman is going to be around for a while...or a lifetime.
• The "wifey" also has met SOME of his family, and SOME of his friends. Sometimes the "wifey" may receive the mans family and friends blessings, but its usually over ruled by him...in the end.
• The "wifey" is equivalent to the "main". Meaning the one who he likes or cares about the most out of the women he deals with. The "wifey" is rarely the only one. Just in HER mind she is. But she dont know the TRUTH. Men are NEVER 100% faithful to a "wifey".
Heres why...
• The "wifey" is the woman who he may spend years with. In his heart he knows he wont marry her though. He'll keep her around until the woman who he feels in his heart he WILL marry comes into his vision, then its curtains for the "wifey". A man is going to be faithful or dedicated to the "wifey" for so long before he starts roaming. He will eventually break up with the "wifey" and go be with the woman who he will make his WIFE. So ladies...please stop bragging about how your his "wifey", all that means is your his TEMPORARY wife until the PERMANENT wife comes along. Then its back to the drawing board for you. Don't be stupid. If you dont have a ring on your finger then your just his girlfriend. "Wifey" is a very low standard to claim."
You can read the comments from this thread by clicking here

This is why I am single and this is why I am happy to wait... I‘m a WIFE in training – not a “Wifey” lol

As mentioned yesterday, I was in Camden on Monday night interviewing Jagged Edge. If I’m honest, I am not particularly a fan of the boys although they have a few tunes that I like. I was only really interested in seeing the sexy twins and they weren’t even there?! One of the promoters lied to me to get me to agree to do the interview... (I was not happy)... and then did not provide a scheduled slot (as promised) AND THEN did not bother to have a quiet secured area... How WACK! After waiting over an hour for HALF a group I was then having to turf groupies in order to get my interview... wtf is that about??? Some girls have NO shame... you know who you are... so lame... But who am I to knock your hustle... I just hope you girls were getting paid for the amount of work you were putting in... (OUCH) lol

Sorry for my little rant there – I haven’t eaten and when I’m hungry I get ratty! Lol.

I’m going to go and get some food now.. If you bothered to read all the way down to this point then let me thank you for hanging on in there – I know this post was a long one! Lol.

Shout out to saiphotography (almost forgot)who took the pics of JE on the night. I have a few more which I will post up when I have more time... Also, if you’ve tried to hit me up on Facebook, I haven’t checked my inbox in about a month... I’m not ignoring you all I swear... lol

Lotsa luv,

Your WIFE ;-)

TB x x< em="">

Just one of those days

2009-08-04T17:25:00.005+01:00

Hi Guys,

Been in the strangest of moods recently. Just don’t know whether I’m coming or going... I’m juggling so many different projects that I am sacrificing my “Me-time”. I love what I do and I recognise just how blessed I am, but sometimes you gotta take off the Boss Lady suit for a second and let your hair down. Me and my girls did just that the other night at Aura...

It was nice to just have a girlie night out, no men (no checking for men) just dancing and giggling and having fun!

It was the first time in ages where I actually went out just to rave and not because I was getting paid. I really need a holiday guys... I’ve been going hard since I got back from Trinidad and literally have not had a rest since. I cancelled my trip to JA for ATI to focus on work and now my motivation is waning because I keep thinking about the sun, good food and parties I’m missing back home. I’ve been getting short tempered as well which is NOT like me...

Thing is, I have a very clear set goal as to where I want to be in the next 6 months and what I hope to have achieved by then. I feel like I’m on track now, so to take a break might throw me off course... I’ve even been having sleepless nights. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to sleep. I even take naps. Lol. So for me to not be able to sleep at all is just crazy!

Anyway, got to dash – meeting my friend at her photo shoot and am running late. Still need to stop for some food which is going to make me even MORE late. Lol

I’ll get at you guys tomorrow with pics from the Jagged edge interview I did... wait till I tell you what happened... you won’t believe it!!!!!

Lotsa luv,

TB x x

2009-07-28T14:52:00.007+01:00

So much for my thrice weekly updates. Ooops! Lol.

Sorry for being so quiet lately. I’ve mostly been in the office finalising interviews for the coming week as well as managing the UK Talent section on UW until they find someone to do the job. I hope they hurry up and find someone because I am swamped right now! I’ve been inundated with people requesting to be featured – Feeling like Simon Cowell up in here! Lol.

Urban worlds Model Focus is also being revamped with more of a focus on “Eye candy”. Again, my inbox is filling up with girls wanting to be profiled. I will get back to each and every one of you I promise – no matter how long it takes. If you think you have the potential to be a Model Focus girl send a brief bio and 3 images to toya.berry@urbanworld.co.uk

Aside from work stuff, I did venture out a few times over the weekend. Was supposed to go and see Eddie Griffins at the Hammersmith Apollo but ended up at the Crescent for my boy’s Birthday instead. Mr Fontaine (co-host of the RB Sunday Show on Choice fm with Richard Blackwood) made me feel OLD when he turned 21 on Saturday. It was a real nice night and I saw lots of people who I haven’t touched base with in a while.

Here's a few snaps of the birthday boy...

Proper ladies man.. lol

I have got the biggest insect bite on my arse and its ridiculously uncomfortable! Stayed at my friends house after the party and was eaten alive! My body is really sensitive and it has literally swollen to like 5 times the size. I’ve got one flat bum cheek and one buff bum cheek. Lol. Was also bitten on my knee and toe?! Which I’m trying desperately not to itch...

Well I’m off to apply more camomile lotion LOL – Oh, but before I go, just wanted to say thanks for the love you guys showed on my last post. I got so much messages from girls and guys alike who agreed with me which was cool. Apologies if you’ve tried to get at me on Facebook – I really haven’t been on there that much. Hit me up on my twitter instead www.twitter.com/toyaberry

TB x

Settle for your love?

2009-07-22T13:14:00.005+01:00

Hey guys,

This is not one of my usual work related posts. In fact, I may just have to get a tad political with this one...

Of late, I’ve had a lot of people (both male and female) ask me why is it I am still single. From their perspective, I appear to be a good catch. I am independent and ambitious, well spoken and well educated. I am easy on the eye and easy to get on with. No, I can’t cook, but I can show you where to dine in style! I’m not demanding as I am work obsessed and self reliant. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from perfect however I am a well rounded, stable and completely balanced female with a good head on my shoulders, a promising future and all my teeth intact. If you were to ask me the question “What can you offer a man?” I could give you a list as long as my 34 inch legs! So why shouldn’t a man be able to do the same? I find that there just isn’t a nice healthy balance between the good, the bad and (unfortunately) the ugly. Lol.

I’ve been accused of being too fussy, having unrealistic ideals, and being secretly married with 2.4 kids!

Lol. I’ve even had a good male friend of mine blame Beyonce for the reason why so many eligible women like myself are still single. He feels she promotes the independence of women to the point where it actually isolates women. He believes that our quest for success can, in some ways, emasculate a man and put us on a back foot when looking for a desirable suitor. Maybe so. But my reason for holding out is far less complex than that..

I am waiting for my Prince!

My husband. The father of my children. Call me fussy – I don’t really care. I am in my prime and at the stage in life where I can pick, choose and refuse! I really don’t need to settle. Just like my career, when it comes to love I WANT IT ALL!

Besides, I honestly believe that you are only truly ready for a man when you don’t need a man.

Think about it.

So on that note: Guys, it is flattering when you get at me proclaiming your eternal love, unyielding devotion, earthly riches and more - but please don’t bother unless you are looking for a wife! It’s a waste of both your time and mine. I’ve reached a stage in my life where games of the heart no longer hold the same allure.

Just because you see a few pretty pictures on Face book please do not assume that I am a good time girl who holds nothing of substance – you’ll be poorly mistaken. Mind on my money – if love comes along in the meantime, I will work with it...

Now that I’ve got that off my chest its back to the old grind. Got a meeting with Urban world later that I need to prepare for so we’ll have to catch up later but when you do get a spare minute listen to "Settle for my love" By Musiq Soul child as it inspired the title for this post. Originally by Patrice Rushen, Musiq has done a great job with the remake and I actually prefer it to the original.

Remember guys, Never settle.

Its just as good as quitting!

TB x x

2009-07-20T10:36:00.003+01:00

Hi Guys,

Hope you had a great weekend! As usual, my weekend was full of work! Did a shoot for a new hair line called “Extreme Hair”. I think I mentioned it in a previous post... but basically it’s for all the packaging, merchandising and promotion of the brand so I will literally be the face of their new products. Its an ongoing contract which is a good look and I also get free hair products (as well as getting paid, lol). My girl Nickita Martin was also on set – I love working with this girl. She is just so professional and like me, she NEVER stops working. My girl was plugging everything from her rave to her calendar on set LMAO. But that’s why I love her – hustler through and through! We had to wear weaves and wigs as part of the campaign... it was like playing dress up!

Cant wait to see the official pictures. As soon as they are out I am going into every hair shop and getting each product with my face on it! lol. Shout out to NATALIE LEONA and FIONA GILPIN who were also on set. Gorgeous girls x x

Went to the gym for the first time in my life on Saturday and I’m ashamed to say that my personal trainer was far from impressed. I only managed 10 minutes on the treadmill as my body just couldn’t take it! Thank God I am naturally skinny because the gym thing just isn’t for me! Lol. I’m not a quitter though – I’ve got a big job lined up which requires my body to be in shape. Sucking in the belly isn’t gonna cut it for this one... lol

Apart from that I’ve been indoors writing! It was Nan’s birthday yesterday so I took her out to dinner then we ate chocolate whilst watched Coming to America in our PJ’s. It was the perfect way to end the week.

Well, I’ve got to go as its Monday and there is plenty work to do...

Speak soon,

Luv TB x x

P.S. My BB crashed on Saturday after I tried to download the new BBM and I lost 178 contacts plus pictures and important emails. Please be wary guys. Do not install any links sent to you by your friends as some are bogus. Go to Google and search for the official download there. Save yourself the aggro and be sure to BACK UP you BB! x

Toya is a GANG STARR!

2009-07-16T11:26:00.008+01:00

Third post this week Guys – I’m on a roll!
Lol.

Remember that So Solid video shoot I was at a couple of weeks ago? Well the feature I wrote is out now in Flavour magazine! Click the screenshot below to go directly to the article 48 :-)

As always, I appreciate your feedback whether it be good or bad. I really do take everything you guys say on board as it helps me to be better at what I do... so don’t hold back!

Earlier this week I was fortunate enough to interview Guru, founding member of Gang Starr and general Hip Hop legend. I say it like I actually knew who he was before I met him?! Sorry, but underground Hip Hop is not my thing. I’m Jamaican and I’m very much into my conscious roots music, Lovers rock and Revival! You don’t want to come to my house on a Sunday! Beres Hammond, Freddie McGregor, Sizzla, Matumbi ALL DAY! Lol. Anyway, I met Guru and he was such a cool guy! Truth be told, he is a bit long in the tooth and I did question him on his relevance to the youth led Hip Hop culture of Today. Despite his age he was witty, very open and honest and overall just a cool guy.

It was like chatting to an old uncle – he just went on and on and on and on... lol. Its cool though – I got like 40 minutes worth of content!!! It will be a nightmare to transcribe let alone edit, but its better to have too much than too little. Full interview will be on the Champagne & Stilettos column THIS WEEK so look of for my tweets and Facebook updates. I will be sure to let you know as soon as it is live.

Well, I think I’ve bored you enough for one week – lol. Have a great weekend guys!!

Lotsa luv,

TB x x

On the grind

2009-07-15T12:26:00.003+01:00

Hey Guys,

As promised, I am turning over a new leaf and will be making conscious efforts to update you regularly. My blog hits are going up month on month with June’s hits reaching 1886?! Crazy! Shout out to my global readers from Turkey, China, the States, Finland... thanks for hitting up my page!

I’m aiming to blog around 3 times a week – Ambitious I know! Lol. This post is a bit of a cheat really – Just a load of pics from a job I’ve been doing the past few weeks. As you may know, I often cast models for jobs whether it be in film, tv or videos. Recently though I’ve had an influx of promo jobs. I know that models like to turn their nose up at promo, but money is money! Real hustlers will know that Its all about the bottom line! Dont be afraid to get your money!!!! Lol.

So, me and a few model friends have been out promoting new multimedia company LFX (www.lfx.co.uk). Look out for us in a white stretch limo around Mayfair every Monday and Friday night– come party with us!!!

Got a shoot for a new black hair product this weekend and trust me to get a spot! I haven’t had one of these in ages – don’t even know what to do with it. If the shoot goes well, You will see my face in every Indian hair shop throughout London on all the packaging (you know, those hair shops in the market that sell cocoa butter and bleaching cream lol). Well I never professed to be Naomi Campbell... haha x

Lotsa Luv,

TB x x x

Ms Pearl - a true British gem

2009-07-13T12:02:00.008+01:00

Hey Guys,

I’m getting really bad with updating you all – Once a week just isn’t good enough! Lol.

As my Facebook and Twitter friends will know, I’ve literally been holed up from office to office working day and night on my new website. I like to work to deadlines and targets as this enables me to push myself, plus I find I work better under pressure. The downside is that I am a perfectionist (the Virgo in me) and so I’ve been neglecting myself in an obsessed mission to make the site the best that it can be. I haven’t eaten properly in about 2 weeks due to the stress of the column launch, party and the site. I am struggling to get my appetite back (I’m going to enjoy trying though!) plus I haven’t done my nails in over a week!

So without further ado, I would like to reveal the revised www.toyaberry.com (click the link to go to the site).

All feedback is welcome and I would really love to know what you think of it. I can’t express how pleased I am with the outcome!!! I saw exactly what I wanted in my minds eye and enseigneur were able to bring my vision to life!
Kal Simpson you are a G!

Aside from working relentlessly on the site I managed to make it down to the filming of Katie Pearl’s new video – Breakaway. You may remember Katie from her crossover smash, Feel it in the Air. Katie and I have been Facebook friends for a while now so interviewing her was just like talking to an old friend. She is absolutely adorable and I just know this song is going to be BIG! The song is about trying to breakaway from a love or relationship that is just no good for you – Girls we’ve all been there! Lol. The full length interview will be featured online at Flavour mag this week.

[images by saiphotgraphy.com]

Katie looked stunning in a custom made KJN dress and patent Gucci heels. I have modelled for KJN (Kelly-Jade Nicholls) on numerous occasions as she is a great friend and an amazing designer! You should definitely check out her collection as she is ridiculously talented and gorgeous! kellyjadenicholls.com

Now for this week – My diary is packed with meetings, meetings and MORE meetings. I have a UW strategy meeting tomorrow as well as meetings with possible sponsors for the column. I’m moving into phase two of my 2009 goal list which is full of new and exciting projects that I cant wait to show you all. Its all very exciting but there is a slight drawback - All this work is making my love life suffer terribly! No late night phone calls or dinner dates for me! Lol. I did get a beautiful bunch of flowers (32 pink and white roses) sent to my office last week but its not the same as a good old cuddle and a slow whine...lol.

Sometimes you’ve got to make sacrifices -
I’m keeping my eye on the prize...

Lotsa Luv

TB xx

Tears and Ice Sculptures

2009-07-07T17:40:00.016+01:00

Hey Guys!

I'm on a bit of a downer today. Its the day after my launch party and I am probably the unhappiest I've been in a long time! After weeks and weeks of hard work, preparation and mild anxiety the big night came. I had a gorgeous dress, bling from head to toe, a cake with my face on it and even my own ice sculpture - and I didn't get to enjoy any of it!

The turnout was immense. It actually bordered on hysteria! I actually couldn't believe it! I was scared that nobody would turn up but instead too many people turned up! I know Kid Cudi was doing a PA but the dude has had one tune! I really cant believe people were queuing round the corner to see him.The whole street was swamped!

I was getting calls and texts from my friends and family saying that they had been queuing outside for over an hour and some had even been turned away. I was so distraught. The door staff were out of order and ridiculously rude - telling my guests that the club had reached capacity when IT HAD NOT. Management were useless and in general nobody was any help at that place. So I went out to try and get my people and then they wouldn't let ME back in? When they eventually did (after an hour) they said my friends and family couldnt enter so I got my stuff and I left. Let the Ice sculpture melt. Fuck it. That party was supposed to be for me and my friends to celebrate and enjoy. Who wants to cut cake with strangers? kmt. I was literally in tears on the streets of Mayfair! Portia Freno came down to show some love and caught me bawling! lol. Even SHE couldn't get in for like half an hour?! I was just so upset guys :-(

Here are a few pics before the night went a bit tits up once I am less distraught... (I nicked them from Facebook as I was outside most of the night and didnt get to take my own damn pictures!)

So in the end, I left just before 2am with my friends and family. We went down to Edgeware road for some Shisha and kebab. Kid Cudi performed and everyone was happy, not realising that my night had been ruined! It may sound like diva behaviour to walk out of your own launch party but I just couldn't enjoy myself knowing that all my people were out waiting in the rain?! Maybe I was wrong to leave. But whatever - its done now!

I've been sulking all day, eating pizza and ice cream. I haven't answered my phone or returned any emails.

It wasn't ALL bad though. Even though they didn't get in, I was overwhelmed by the people who made it out to show support - I really appreciate it guys and I was so touched! And for the person who made an unexpected appearance, It was good to see you. x

Shout out to Alastair for going into damage control and trying to get our guests in. Shout out to Le Starr for all your hard work and shout out to Kelly-Jade and Kelly A, my partners in crime. The column is gonna BIG ladies - especially if the launch is anything to go by! It was so big that it made the papers stating that not even KANYE WEST could get in. lol. One thing is for sure though - I am NEVER going to Vendome again. Well not until they change the door staff. That lady on the door better watch she don't get put in my boot - clipboard and all. Let me hear her talk about guest list from there! lol

Heading out to go get some duck, Catch up soon guys..

TB x x

So Solid!

2009-06-30T17:26:00.009+01:00

Hi Guys,

Wow! Where do I start???
Well, as you know column launch is Monday, and so is our official launch party at Vendome. Like I said last post, everyone is welcome. It is guest list only so please send names to toya.berry@urbanworld.co.uk I’ve heard whispers that KID CUDI should be in the building! Not really supposed to tell you that, but oh well its done now. Here is a sneak peek at the invitations that I will be sending out once I get a second! Lol

It was my cousins birthday the other day so we went to the club to celebrate. It was a really good night and I got her absolutely wasted! She was throwing up and everything! Lol. I felt bad for a minute but then I was in Edgeware road eating THE BEST lamb shish kebab ever! Guys you would not believe how good it tasted. I’ve eaten a lot of good food and trust me when I say that this was UP there. Lol. My camera is broken and the one i want is sold out everywhere! Kmt. So sorry if my posts are lacking pics - I would have loved to have shown you that kebab! Lol. But here are a few I nicked from Facebook. lol

I was a little under the weather the majority of the week – you can probably tell from the pics above. The aircon in my office has been on BLAST! and I caught a cold. I literally overdosed on flu tablets this weekend as I had so much work to do and couldn’t afford to be in bed. The So Solid shoot went really well. Mega is too sexy (i do like a bit of rough lol) and Romeo is cute but a little too sweet for my tooth. Lisa was... “nice”... lol and everyone on set was cool. The models were of a high standard compared to what you see on the average UK videos (big up to ME who casted some of those girls) and my beautiful friend Bianca Simmone even made an appearance. I swear she is like the hardest working model out there right now – she is EVERYWHERE lol.

Shout out to Saiphotography.com who took the pics. I’m sure we’ll be working together again in the future. You can check out my behind the scenes article at flavour magazine and exclusive interviews with Romeo and Mega on the Champagne & Stilettos column both coming soon. I will provide links once they are live! X

What else...? Kyla interview was cool – she really is a sweetheart. So adorable. I was on set of her new video “Daydreaming” which is set to be another banger! I really wish her all the best... Jagged Edge was cancelled and I was asked to interview blackstreet instead. But last time I heard Teddy Riley was on the run from the taxman and no-one knows who the others are so I passed... lol. Is that bad?

Okay guys I’ve really got to run. Literally on my way to another video shoot...

TB x

P.S. Sent the wrong pictures to the printers and now I am going to have horrible business cards. I could actually CRY!

Your official invite!

2009-06-24T10:27:00.006+01:00

Hi Guys,

So the date is official – July 6th at Vendome will see the launch of my new column Champagne and Stiletto’s. To view the column go to www.urbanworld.co.uk from Monday the 6th although it should be up a few days before then. It will feature all of the interviews I’ve done in the last few months like Teedra Moses, Day 26, J Holiday and all the others! I know you guys have been waiting forever – so two more weeks wont hurt! Lol.

I want everyone to come down and celebrate with me! Whether we already know each other, or you want to get to know each other (lol) I am officially inviting YOU! Come say Hi and we’ll have a drink – and maybe a dance if I’m feeling frisky! Haha! Also, if you are an aspiring model or musician try and make it down as there will be a lot of industry contacts and close friends in the building – a perfect opportunity to network! Anyone who knows me will know that I’m ALL about networking so if I can help out in anyway whether it be personal introductions etc just let me know! It will be a guest list only event so send names to my Facebook or email me at toya.berry@urbanworld.co.uk Hope to see you all there – I’m just so excited!

So other than preparing for the launch and revamping my site, I have been shooting and busy with meetings for other projects I’ve got coming up. The plan is to GO HARD for the next 6 months and then relax come Christmas. I’ve set myself some stringent targets for 2009 and all is going to plan so far. But that doesn’t mean I am going to get comfortable. Foolish is the man who is complacent, so its all systems go! The hustle never stops! Lol

I was shooting on location this weekend in one of Europe’s biggest estates – Aylesbury on the Walworth road. It was cold and it was grimey and it was a horrific experience. I had to pose underneath pissy stairwells with cobwebs and other horrible things. I couldn’t imagine getting any decent shots from the shoot but I was wrong...

That was just a taster – Plenty more new, never before seen images are coming soon to www.toyaberry.com

Okay guys, I am off – got to prep for So Solid, Kyla and Jagged Edge interviews (all this weekend) plus I’m meeting with a few designers who want to make my dress for the launch! I love my job!!!

Catch up soon,

Luv TB x x

Busy Bee...

2009-06-15T09:08:00.006+01:00

Hi Guys!

Apologies, I know its been a while since I’ve posted anything. You must know by now that when you don’t hear from me that I am mad busy! I’ve been working my arse off this past week as the deadline for two of my projects is fast approaching. Champagne & Stilettos is going live in TWO WEEKS and the pressure is on because a lot of people, including industry insiders, have been waiting for it to drop for ages, and it keeps being pushed back. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. It’s my baby, my brainchild, my creation.... I just hope everyone likes it... My official Toya Berry site is also being revised in order to keep up with all the things I am now doing. I have been working on this day and night and it’s FINALLY beginning to take shape. The main obstacle has been the feel of the site. A lot of the ideas put forward were all centred around my modelling career. That’s cool, but I am a writer first and foremost, and I want my site to reflect that. If you want to look at 101 pretty pictures then add me on Facebook – this site is business, business, business lol. Its looking so good! I am well and truly chuffed!

So, as you can see all I’ve been doing is working. Boring! I’m taking a long weekend off so will probably head up to the country and do the spa thing with the girlies. It sounds so appealing now but I know I just wont be able to relax lol. Got a location shoot on Saturday, should be cool (hope its not too cold though) then 2 more shoots next week. I kinda put modelling on time out over the last couple of months, but there is only so many times I can turn down work. CREDIT CRUNCH!!! Lol. Plus I have missed it a little...

Okay, so I’m off now – But before I go I just want to congratulate MARIA KOUKA and LEAH MCKENZIE for landing roles in the new So Solid video I was casting for. I will be on set of the shoot doing backstage interviews so look out for it soon. I’m actually really excited – I used to be a So Solid groupie back in the day (don’t act like you weren’t! Lol). Who remembers Delight fm? So Solid, Get Rich Crew, Milky Manz... memories! Hahaha!

Have a great day guys,

TB x x

Let's make some babies...

2009-06-11T12:10:00.004+01:00

Last night I went to bed at like 8.30pm because I was absolutely wrecked from this cold I’ve got. BEECHAMS DOES NOT WORK!!! Kmt. Woke up around 10pm to the screams of my god-daughter Asia-Leigh. Before I could question how she got in my house I had to get her to be quiet lol. Anyone who knows me, will know I am not good with kids. They are cute and everything but I’ve never really been that interested in them. Sounds bad I know, but its the truth. So anyway, I was there staring at Asia scared out of my mind thinking how am I gonna get her to stop screaming?! I tried everything guys! Bottle, nappy, lullaby’s... but in the end you know what worked?

Family Guy!

I love that show. So Asia and I fell asleep around midnight. I cant describe the feeling of achievement I felt getting her to settle all by myself. Having her fall asleep on my chest was the sweetest feeling, I didn’t want to let her go. Surprisingly it felt so natural. Made me think about having a little brat of my own...

It was only a passing thought. Maybe 2019... lol. Here are a few pics of my beautiful God-daughter. My Family has good genes! SHOWA!

Love U Asia

TB x x x

Girl Crush

2009-06-10T09:56:00.003+01:00

I have a Girl Crush on Beyonce and I don’t care who knows it! lol

I was lucky enough to see her perform last night for the final date of her Tour “I AM” at the 02. Waited over 3 hours for her to grace the stage, but it was worth every minute of it! She sang live throughout, danced her little socks off and performed tracks from all her albums as well as the DC collection.

I am actually still not over it – She blew me away. Tried to think of my favourite Beyonce song but there are just too many! So I will leave you with the song that I feel is most relevant to me at this time, based on yesterdays drama.

kisses,

TB x x

Showing Love!

2009-06-09T12:22:00.009+01:00

Guys you would not believe the day I am having!

Those of you on my twitter and facebook could probably tell by my updates that I was having a bit of a mad one lol. Imagine, I am sat in the office, working hard minding my own business when I get a message from HIM on msn. I’m not about to air all of my personal business on the internet but I just need to get this off my chest real quick! You don’t diss me, accuse me of falsehoods, disappear for almost 2 months and then nudge me on msn and say “Hi, how are you”?! Wtf?! Then, to add insult to injury HE continues with lame excuses and lies to rationalise his behaviour. I’d rather you be real and say what time it is - I wear a watch! Lol. But seriously, God knows your actions spoke loudly enough. I’m a big girl – The truth may sting a little but lies hurt like a Mutha, and there is no going back from lies. They say "Dont allow someone to become a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs" and I am going to take this on board because it is so REAL! Lesson learned - trust me! I mean, I’m no Ice Queen. I do feel. I did miss him. But the absence put a lot of things into perspective. He wasn’t my Prince. So, lets keep it moving! Lol.

Shortly after that, a good friend of mind started chucking it, after holding back for about a week. As I’ve said before, I am not Mystic Meg. I am good at a lot of things but reading minds (and cooking) is not one of them. Lol. I know I can be a little full on sometimes . Perhaps a tad direct... but isn’t it better that we all just be real with each other? I dunno. I guess not everyone shares my philosophy in terms of what is REAL! But that’s for another blog. Needless to say, we are still friends but I really wish we didn’t have to argue. It was so unnecessary. Pushing my buttons after I was already a bit emotional from the msn thing... all that negative energy is so sad! Feel like I need to cleanse lol.

But on a lighter note...

I want take this time out to shout out some of my people who are doing well and making positive moves.
I don’t think we spend enough time congratulating people when they do well and are achieving their goals. I’ve had a few people msg me recently to say well done. Its nice to know that people are supporting you and I feel I should do the same. So Well done to my friend GAVIN BRYAN who just opened up his own estate agents!!!

www.bryanestates.co.uk

You're a BOSS now! lol.

Well done to Bianca Simmone who made lead in the new Lil Wayne Video

www.biancasimmone.co.uk

Well done to Nicholas and Justin aka JCX and Slick! Own TV show and website soon to be launched (I remember the day you two actually met lol)

www.jcxnslick.com

Anyway that’s jus a few people who sprang to mind, sorry if I forgot anyone. You are all so inspiring and motivate me to keep working harder.

There’s room at the top for ALL of us!

So I guess I’ll see you there,

TB x x

When all else fails - LETS DANCE!

2009-06-08T17:44:00.005+01:00

Hey peeps,

Was a tad bit upset yesterday and today until I saw this...

Made me smile and wanna two-step all at the same time lol. Why cant we all just be happy and dance?

TB x x

We gon' party HARD

2009-06-02T17:38:00.005+01:00

Hey guys!

Last night saw me venture out on a school night(naughty girl)under the guise of "work" lol.

As I mentioned in my last post, I am working on the official launch party for my column and could not decide between Vendome and Crystal. So, after talking to the promoters I decided to head down to the club to see what’s up. Management were cool and the hospitality second to none.

I had a great time and I think its 90% certified that I will hold the launch there...

I have been casting models for the up and coming Game video (yes the GAME of G-Unit fame lol) and the new So Solid Video. Game is selecting the girls himself this weekend so I didn’t wanna send him just any girl off the road. Lol. I am so pleased of the calibre of girls I’ve put forward and I’m sure they’re all going to get picked!

Cant write much more as my head is still BANGIN from last night. Doubt I will get any work done today. Still confused as to how I actually made it in to the office...?

See you on the sober side ;-)

TB x

2009-06-01T15:34:00.008+01:00

Afternoon Guys!

Its been almost a week since I last wrote. Apologies. You know how it gets sometimes though – never enough hours in the day. This weekend was the perfect combination of work and play! Saturday, I was shooting all day for the C&S website. It was like 25 degrees outside and I REALLY didn’t want to be stuck in a studio for 12 hours. However, we all put in work and I am so happy with the end result. I have just finished proofing the images and I literally cant stop smiling. If only you guys knew the obstacles I had to face just to get this far. I feel like I’ve overcome the final hurdle and it was worth it. I really want to post some sneaky pics of the shoot right here, but I just cant. Urbanworld would literally kill me! Thanks for your continued patience and support though. Its appreciated more than you know! Shout out to Karl Lake and Jay Stewart. Amazing photographers and such fun to work with :-)

Speaking of your support, I got my first official erm... “fan” mail this week. Well, it went to my private email so some would call it stalker mail lol, but it was sweet none the less. Its just nice to know that somebody out there is feeling what I do which is cool. Sunday, I had a meeting with one of London’s top promoters regarding the official Champagne and Stilettos launch party. Its looking like it will either be at Crystal or Vendome. I will keep you posted on the dates- everyone will be welcome, and we’ll even be running a competition on UW so that a lucky reader can come down and party with us on our table all night! I’m so excited! Lol.

Hmm... what else was I up to this weekend? Oh, I did my first recorded interview on film yesterday. I was ridiculously nervous, but after a sneaky champagne cocktail (Bellini is my favourite!) I was in my element and actually quite enjoyed it. Lol. I never really saw myself as a presenter of sorts, but after being approached a few times by several different filmmakers etc, I thought I’d test the waters... Don’t get me wrong, I’m not amazing! But I am alright if I do say so myself *wink* Got a lot of work to though, but it is definitely something I want to do more of and I will definitely be incorporating it into my revamped site. I will post some clips later. See if you can spot my mistakes. There was about 8 things that I wasn’t happy with (my virgo perfectionist thing coming out again lol) like the background noise, camera postioning etc, but it was definitely good for a first effort. I was interviewing up and coming UK talent such as Hayley C and Cherie-Jones Mattis at the Sunday Show. Click on their names to visit their myspace.

Sorry for the lack of pics this post, I just haven’t had the time to sort through stuff – but I’ll try and add some later.

Okay so I’m gonna go now. Partying at Vendome tonight – Everyman and his dog is going to be there and I still do not have a clue as to what to wear...

Speak soon lovelies,

TB x x

Brighton & Beyonce...

2009-05-26T10:38:00.009+01:00

Hi Guys and girls,

What a miserable morning! I hate weather like this, it leaves me so un-inspired! I find that the rain just dampens my creative flow – cramps my style and generally leaves me feeling de-motivated. It took all my strength to get out of bed this morning – did you hear the rain chucking it? Kmt! Anyway, the bad weather wasn’t present over the weekend and I had another BIG bank holiday!! Thursday, I was at the Indigo 02 for the Lloyd and MH concert. I was scheduled to interview Lloyd before the show, but due to a cock up with security and promoter communication, it kept getting pushed back and back to the point where it didn’t actually go ahead. I was really annoyed and slightly disappointed – was hoping to get the digits *wink

As you can see, Young Lloyd is maturing very nicely! Beginning to fill out and all that lol. He is a great performer and the crowd absolutely loved him! MH was a little disappointing though. He just didn’t have that fire or passion for the stage that Lloyd did. I think he may want to consider focusing his talents behind the scenes as he is not getting much love in the US. Amazing songwriter though – Don’t you just love that tune “Circles” and the “Naked” remix is BAD! Lol. Solange was also in town this week. For those of you who don’t know, Solange is Beyonce’s less talented little sister who is trying to do her thing – you cant knock that. She threw a tantrum at one of my favourite clubs on Thursday (Jalouse) and apparently was on some Diva madness at Heaven on Friday. I was scheduled to meet her last night before her performance at the Beyonce after party. I’m not really a fan but I did want to ask her about these diva rumours and generally see what this girl was about! Sadly I missed my time slot and management just couldn’t reschedule it. To say I was pissed is a gross understatement. I should not have missed that opportunity and I am kicking myself. I wont get into the details as to why I missed it – but just know that I wont be caught slipping like that again. To have not got 2 out of the 3 scheduled interviews I had this week is just shocking! I get mad every time I think about it...

Sunday I was in Brighton BABY! Lol. Me and my girl Nicks decided to go on a road trip at the last minute. We’d been out in west-end the night before and were feeling a bit rough, but couldn’t waste the day indoors when it was like 23 degrees outside! So we jumped in the car, dropped the roof and took to the motorway. I live in Croydon and it usually takes me about 45 minutes to drive down to Brighton, but on this occasion it took me almost 4 HOURS! I was actually getting cramp in my clutch foot because I was sat in traffic for so long lol. It was worth it though – we had a brilliant time.

It was just what I needed! Fresh-faced, no make up - sun on my face, food in my belly! lol. Wish everyday could be like that! I am working more and more these days so it was nice to just stop for a minute.

Have got a 12 hour shoot this Saturday for UrbanWorld and my new website. I am so excited although 12 hours is a bit of a monster. I will be sure to make a trip to Tesco and stock up on some nibbles to get through the day lol. I’m thinking Jaffa cakes and party rings already lol – not serious. There is one particular look that i wanted to do , but I haven’t been sticking to my workout regime so I am now in two minds. I don’t like to broadcast when I am working out because then people start looking out for the improvements lol. The look I want to do involves a bit of tummy action – and I am not as ripped as I used to be... think I may just wait until I’ve got my figure exactly how I want it so I can shut it down on set! Lol

Okay guys, I’m going to do some work now – we’ll catch up in a bit! I'll leave you with a few pics from Bianca's birthday bash. It was a good night and she was in high spirits as she'd literally just flown back from shooting the new Lil'Wayne video in Miami! So jealous! lol

Have a good day,

TB x x

Hello Mr Houston!

2009-05-21T10:20:00.006+01:00

As my Facebook and Twitter friends will know, I went to interview Marques Houston yesterday at Stanza. In true celebrity style he was LATE! Iol. When you’re in this business don’t ever plan anything when you know you got an interview. Believe me nothing ever goes to plan! I was waiting around for about an hour before interviews actually started which was a bit crap as I had one of the last slots. Anyway, Marques is cool and surprisingly humble. He is not as short as you’d think he’d be but the dome is a little large...

So I asked him about his forthcoming album, his love life, Immature reunion... but I chickened out of asking about Chris Stokes and the molestation madness. Someone dared me to – and I was going to as his management didn’t give me any restrictions, but I just couldn’t. He was just so sweet and funny and he’s got these puppy dog eyes... I just couldn’t do it! Sorry Josh!:-(

Thanks to all the guys on FB who sent in questions for Marques. They were pretty good and I did use some of them. Full interview will be on the Champagne & Stilettos column so sit tight! Going to meet Lloyd tonight as he’s also in town. Although I’ve never been into that pretty boy with cornrows look, Lloyd is cute. Definitely cuter than MH lol. My hair is looking right (i slept in a headscarf last night - 1st time for everything lol) so just have to figure out what to wear?!

Any suggestions....

TB x x

Girlation

2009-05-19T11:19:00.011+01:00

Hey Guys!

I’ve been meaning to write this blog since Sunday but I just didn’t quite get around to it. Ooops! Lol.

Last week was a great week for me. Very productive! An amazing work opportunity has come my way which I am very excited about. Its all in the planning stages right now so I’m not going to say too much just yet. Sorry. I’m not usually one of those hype girls who are like “there’s a really big project coming up but l cant say”. Lol. Its silly because 9 times out of 10 you never hear anything more about that person or their alleged project. Just know that when you don’t hear from me I really am busy working on something that you will see, hear and feel. The Champagne and Stilettos column is coming along nicely and we are doing a final shoot for it next Saturday. The media press packs are ready and will be distributed to all industry insiders across the UK. I am so sorry for the delay guys – it is really out of my hands. Unfortunately I am not a graphic designer or site manager/ builder otherwise the column would’ve been up a long time ago. That’s why I try and post up pics of the celeb interviews and stuff that I do on here just so you know I’m not gassin! Lol. Things are moving, slowly- but still moving. I am literally just waiting on the technicals.

Sunday I was at the Natural History Museum promoting the U4U event - Girlation. If you remember, I posted a blog last month about the project. I had been approached by the organisers to raise awareness for the movement and help promote the event. It was BIG! The turnout was awesome and I had so much fun – didn’t feel like work at all! Carol from the National lottery show and Kate from MTV were hosts and gave me some great presenting tips!

I was helping out with the kids, painting their nails, giving talks and advice about modelling (models1 were in the building) and all that girlie stuff. I was surprised at how GROWN these little ladies were?! 13 year old girls with blackberries and French manicures? Lol. But, although these girls looked older and acted older - they were still children who needed to be educated and guided. These kids are growing up way too fast so its great that a movement like U4U has come along. They aim to inspire young ladies to be strong women of tomorrow by educating them on fitness, kindness, culture and environment. I was so happy to be involved because I truly believe that young women are becoming lost in this culture we have created where outer beauty reigns supreme. A pretty face may open a few doors, but your intelligence is what will keep those doors open – REAL TALK! You can take a look at what U4U actually do via their website www.u4u.co.uk

So after I fulfilled my duties, My friend Lulu and I went to explore the museum. I am actual a closet geek and I love all things historical – it was one of my favourite subjects at school aside from English of course. Check out Lu’s black shiny boots – HOTT!!!

Shout out to Ila, Carina and Miss Naomi Jane for pulling off an amazing event and doing something so positive for our community. Nai you are a G! Probably the only woman I know who works harder than me! When we team up, we SHUT IT DOWN! Lol.

This week I have a few networking events to go to. Networking is what I do so I don’t mind it, but I’ve got a lot of other things that are more important so I may have to cancel a few things. Marques Houston, Lloyd and Solange interviews have all been CONFIRMED! Trying to get Beyonce but thats a biggie. Am working on it though. My gorgeous friend and model bianca simmone is celebrating her birthday this weekend. Me and the girls will be in the house so try and come down and say Hi! It will be a huge event with a lot of familiar faces in the house so don’t miss out.

Oh and Finally, Shout out to my friend Jade Ewen – The UK entry for Eurovision this year. Jade is the sweetest girl you will ever meet and so ridiculously talented. I am gutted she didn’t win – she had the best vocal by far (although the song was a bit dry... but that’s Webbers fault not Jades lol).

Wont lie, that Norway song was catchy... but well done to Jade for giving the UK some credibility.

Okay so I’m gonna dash – Meeting with my site designer to revamp my official site. I rushed through my original one and am not happy with it and like a true Virgo, its got to be perfect!

Catch u later

TB x x

Block and delete

2009-05-14T12:21:00.001+01:00

There comes a time in your life (usually once a year for me) where you look at the people around you and assess whether or not they are making a positive contribution to your life. I believe that in order to be successful, you need to surround yourself with successful people. Positive people. Passionate, inspiring, driven people. Trust me, if you constantly put negativity out there you will only get negativity back. I believe that those who enter your life should not only enhance but enrich it. Life is short - Don’t allow people to come into your life and mash it up!

I often take a look at the people around me and ask myself “what have you done for me lately?”

Don’t get me wrong, It’s not all about me. I am the most loyal person you will ever come across and when I am down for you I am down till the bitter end!! I am a huge advocate of progression and always encourage those around me to better themselves. I will share my contacts and my knowledge to help my inner circle get ahead. If I eat my people will eat. I’ve been watching how some people have been acting lately – all snakey and selfish and mean! I don't know if it's the credit crunch or what but people are just out for themselves! Ruthless. Lol. I start to wonder are you worth it? Have you been there when I’ve been down and needed a shoulder to cry on, or are you only there when the times are good and the smiles are wide? Are you there at important memorable events or are do you only swing by when I’m in the club, jumping in all my damn pictures, claiming to be bonafide? Are you always calling me to offload your drama but never have the time to hear mine? Are you quick to take but slow to give? Long memory when it comes to the bad but short memory when it comes to the good? Do you encourage my endeavours and congratulate my achievements? Or do you ignore my efforts and slyly wish for my downfall?

I have had to put a fair few people on time out this year because I feel that my time is better spent elsewhere. On my career, on my progression, on my loved ones – the people who are truly down for me. There is no room for fake friends over here so if you try to call and you get the dial tone – oops! Did I forget to mention I changed my number? Lol.

Block and delete – lets keep it moving!

TB x x

I've cut my hair off!

2009-05-11T11:48:00.004+01:00

Well, its not exactly Britney style and I didn’t have the guts to do a Cassie or go as low as Keri Hilson - but I did get a snip. Lol.

Anyone who knows me will know that I love big, bouncy, long full hair. Like Beyonce – Big and Glamorous. I’ve even been known to add in a few extensions for shoots and industry events to get that diva style hair lol. Being of Jamaican heritage, I was always told as a child that your hair is your beauty so I’ve always worn it long. Each and every time I go to cut it I get an earful from friends and family. They tell me it wont grow back or it will but wont grow back the same. They tell me it wont suit me and that men prefer women with long hair (Rubbish, I know). They tell me as a black woman I should be grateful to have lengthy hair and that people across the world pay to have hair such as mine (again, debatable). Basically, I’ve been bullied into having the same dry hairstyle for years, but this weekend I decided it was time for a change...

Okay okay okay, so its only a FRINGE! But its a start! Lol. Rome wasn’t built in a day!

Actually I’m not sure about it yet – I’m still getting used to looking different. What do you think? I will upload some more pics tonight with my hair down so you can see it properly... Nan was not impressed. Lol.

I went out a few times this week (this is becoming a bit of a bad habit which I need to nip in the bud!) as it was my friends birthday on Tuesday. Nicole being the “special” girl she is decided she would have a birthWEEK as opposed to a birthDAY. Lol. Tuesday we were in Crystal Palace and later Mayfair. Friday we were in Mint (my local spot) and Saturday we were bar crawling in Clapham. I really needed cheering up as my facebook friends know and so it was good to have my girls around me. After a few cocktails and a few more tequila shots we generally decided that Men are a bit waste really and I for one have put them to the bottom of my priority list. I am just not interested right now – Sorry!

Yesterday I went to my friends mum’s house in East London to learn to cook one of my favourite dishes – Macaroni Pie (or mac n cheese as its otherwise known). I can do many things, and of these many things I can do most of them well. But cooking is not one of them. Can’t cook, wont coo- that’s me!! However, the tide is slowly turning and my love affair with the stove has now begun! Lol. To be honest, I have tried to cook before, but where I’ve not really had anyone to teach me the end result has usually been a bit grim. Lol. There is nothing more irritating than spending hours preparing a dish for it then to be un-edible and for you to still be hungry at the end of it. Quite frankly it’s disheartening and so I have avoided cooking at all costs. But as I get older, I realise that this is a LIFE skill. A SURVIVAL skill. Just as important as first aid or knowing how to drive a manual or making fire from twigs (which I learnt to do at brownies btw)?! So, I drove an hour and a half to Wanstead and I made an amazing macaroni pie (I arrived too late to do the rice and peas and chicken) and an apple and mango crumble. I will be trying again unsupervised this week!

Apart from making the time to better my culinary skills, I will be housebound this week. I’ve got plenty to do and a few meetings to finalise so I’ve got to make sure my proposals are airtight – I don’t like hearing NO! Haha.

Have a good week guys!

Lotsa Luv,

TB x x

Redtails Behind the scenes!

2009-05-08T09:29:00.010+01:00

Remember a few weeks ago when I told you about the film I cast several guys for? Well, as mentioned, 5 of them got the part and have been out in Prague for the last month shooting.

The film is called Redtails (you can find out more at http://www.imdb.com ) and it stars Ne-Yo, Cuba Gooding Jnr, Method Man and Terrence Howard. Although they are only extras, they got paid a nice sum (we only do paid work over here lol) and of course it will look great on their acting CV’s.

As casting agent, I also get a small percentage lol. Gotta keep hustling -Credit crunch!!!!! lol.

Here are a few pics that some of the boys have been sending to my Blackberry direct from Prague – thought I’d update you all.

Apparently Ne-yo was flaunting a Bigger bottomed version of Christina Milian and was getting mad jealous of her being around so many big, strapping black brothers! (but you didnt hear that from me) lol.

I'll be sure to keep you posted regarding the next casting call – coming soon!

Look out for me at the premiere!!

TB x x

2009-05-06T12:25:00.005+01:00

Hey Guys!

Finally got a few of the images back from a shoot I did at the beginning of the year which is going to be in Sideview Magazine.

Check out the magazine http://www.styleme-up.com/sideviewmag.htm

I'm on page 11 and page 18. I will let you know where you can get the hardcopy from soon :-)

I haven’t done much modelling recently – have had to turn down a lot of work in order to focus on my writing. I am a writer first and foremost and modelling is a very small part of what I do. I am lucky that I get so much work coming my way that I am actually in the position to pick choose and refuse. Its a nice predicament to be in.

This was a REALLY long shoot – 9 till 4pm ON VALENTINES DAY!!! They made me wear a wig and everything lol. Check out that mad ponytail I got! Swinging down to my knee-caps lmao! Strangely enough, at every shoot or show I do, the hair stylists always want to put my hair in some scandalous back-combed quiff?/!! Yuck, yuck, yuck! I actually hate it! And what’s worse, is that its making my portfolio look very samey – I got the same damn hairstyle in every shot?!

Can the hairstylists come with a bit more originality please?? Lol

Oh , and check out the sexy cream leather jacket - SO FLY!!! lol

Anyway, I have missed modelling and have lined up quite a few shoots for summer once the column is launched and out of the way. Have also been approached by a few online magazines to do some features on ME?! Lol. I thought they were going to ask me to write for them! Not sure if I’m ready for that yet. I think I’d be pushing a little above my weight – perhaps this time next year, when people ACTUALLY know who I am! Lol

Bank Holiday Madness!

2009-05-05T12:43:00.007+01:00

Had the craziest weekend!!!
I’m not really a raver – anymore lol. I put my raving days behind me a couple years ago – decided to be serious about life, focus on work etc. Raving doesn’t pay me so I thought I’d concentrate on the things that do! But anyone who knows me, will know that I was partying hard way before Donae’O. Last woman standing! No lie! x

Anyways, I’ve been working harder than ever and have been feeling a bit ill the last few days so I decided to let my hair down. My friends were worried that I might be burning myself out so we went to support my boys at the City Love party.

I rocked the leopard print mini and was feeling FIERCE! Lol.

Bumped into a very old “friend” who, funnily enough, had been the centre of some controversy (for lack of a better word) last week. Strange how I hadn’t seen or thought about this guy in years, and the minute his name gets brought up, he appears out of nowhere – like magic?!
Coincidence?

Of course, I confronted him about the drama! I am OH SO direct like that lol. I don’t believe in whining and bitching and harbouring ill feeling. Besides, I didn’t know when I would see him again so I thought I’d give him the opportunity to add his two pence to the debate. Of course he knew nothing about anything, acted like he was so pleased to see me and all the rest of it. Why are guys so full of S***?!

I didn’t believe him and still don’t. But the damage has already been done so no use crying over spilt milk. I’ve never been partial to milk anyway!

Sunday I went to Adults Only – A house rave in the plush Divo bar in waterloo place. The venue was gorgeous – chandeliers, thick oriental carpets, authentic period furniture from the early 19th century. It really added to the atmosphere! Adults only is not for the faint hearted. They don’t play any commercial funky stuff. No migraine skank , no heads shoulders knees and toes. Lol. Strictly hardcore house – so if that’s you’re thing you can go on the first Sunday of every month.

Had on a little black dress – my signature look. I can’t resist a tight mini-dress lol. We skanked all night long – didn’t wanna go home. Now I’ve got the raving bug... Where’s the party at tonight?? Lol

Teedra Moses in the UK

2009-05-01T16:20:00.006+01:00

Hey Guys!

I know I wrote you all yesterday but I just had to upload a few pics of me and Teedra Moses! Lol. She is so TINY! Felt like a giant standing next to her...

Teedra is in the UK promoting her new album "the young Lioness" and I was lucky enough to get to interview her!

First off, I would just like to say that I am actually a genuine fan and have always been a bit baffled as to why her debut album "Comlex Simplicity" didnt jump off like it should have done! I still play that CD in my car - No More Tears being one of my favourite tracks. lol.
I got to her hotel around 10.30pm and we chatted for like half hour about everything under the sun. I was amazed at how humble and laid back she was. Even her management was cool.

I've been invited to see her perform later so I will see if I can get some snippets off of the new album for you!

Full interview and pics will be featured on the Champagne & Stilettos column - COMING SOON!! (sorry) haha x x

Lotsa Luv,

TB x x

Mid week exhaustion

2009-04-29T16:30:00.011+01:00

I am sitting at my desk trying my hardest to stay awake. I am so tired I literally cannot stop yawning! I Have been out every night since Saturday and whilst the majority of it has been work, a party is still a party and I am now beginning to feel the effects. Lol

Over the weekend I did a lot of written work as I had a bit of a backlog. My internet had been down for the past week which drastically limited the amount of work I could do from home. It’s working again now so I have been banging out various articles and write ups including the day26 and Trey Songz features. I have also been meeting with a lot of concert promoters and organisers on behalf of the Champagne and Stilettos column. I wouldn’t really call myself a business woman – I’m more of the networking type, but I managed to secure 2 exclusive sponsorship deals so I was pretty chuffed!! It just goes to show that patience and hard work has its rewards.

Anyway, I know I’ve been banging on about the column for the longest time, but trust me guys it is going to be SO SICK! Jessica Callun of the original “3AM girls” line-up called me last week saying she’d heard about the project and wanted to offer her support!! I actually couldn’t believe it! There is a lot of hard work going on behind the scenes – so please be patient with me. The media press pack is being finalised and the pictures are looking great

So aside from the various C & S setbacks (change in line-up, missing pictures, drama drama drama lol) I have been out and about and generally just keeping busy. Someone I cared about completely disrespected me last week and it did throw my focus off for a minute. Without getting into details, I was accused, judged and sentenced despite not being guilty. I was sad for a day or two – watching smallville and eating crispy cremes in my PJ’s for like a day – but then the sun came out and I realised how silly I was being. So, I put on my fitted jeans, dropped the roof and went to chill with the girls. No man is worth me losing my waistline for! lol

Headed to Mint Bar in Streatham – a favourite for us southerners. The cocktails there are amazing! The only drawback is that you see people you’d rather not see. Lol. And just my luck, that person was skanking to Donae’O when I walked in Lol! You're not gonna like everybody and everybody's not gonna like - so we keep it moving
and I had fun with the girls regardless :-)

Monday I went to the launch of new UK film the Prodigals – a film about the hardships of growing up as a young black teen in london. My friend Arnold (aka Snakeyman) stars in the film and Beverley Knight features on the soundtrack. Although my interview with her was brief she was lovely, very chatty and very passionate about the project.

Yesterday, I swung by Strawberry Moons for a modelling networking party. It was hosted by Nuts Magazine and Moonlight – a new UK artist signed to Urban XL. It was a good night but not really my scene. I haven’t done the WAG thing since Uni so it felt a little alien to me to be in a room full of Barbie type girls who were posing so hard they didnt even wanna 2-step lol. I just wanted to DANCE!! Haha. I felt like everyone needed to loosen up a bit!

Despite this I made the most of my night and the most of my new shoes which absolutely killed!!!

Shout out to Nickita Martins – Girl rocks lingerie like she was born to do it! lol. Shout out to SheDevil who was also in the house and of course Bianca Simmone for taking care of me and the UW team.

I will be resting tonight as I don’t think my body would physically allow me to go out. Got Teedra Moses and Crazy cousins interview to look forward to this week, so I better get some rest while I can.

Speak soon

TB x x

So thankful!

2009-04-17T15:34:00.002+01:00

I know I’ve slipped off the radar a little bit lately. Usually when you don’t hear from me its because I’m busy working, but unfortunately life has been slightly more dramatic than that..

A lot of people close to me are going through difficult times and its becoming a strain on me as I can’t make it better. Every time my phone rings someone has bad news or a bunch of drama. I hate to see the people I love unhappy or hurt and to be honest, its getting depressing. I can’t be happy when my people are not happy and so for the past week I’ve just not been myself!

Yesterday I went to see my best-friend who had been violently attacked on holiday. He had to have his jaw wired shut, plus a number of stitches in his face. He may never look the same again. I tried my best to be strong at his bedside, but I cried all the way home. How can people be so vicious??
I get upset every time I picture his face.

A few people have lost their job and feeling the credit crunch, and some are coping with illnesses that may never be cured. All the bad stuff that is happening to my friends and family makes me realise how selfish we can be. I mean, last week I was cursing that I still hadn’t found my dream home, mad that I had to pay £300 to get my car out the pound and just frustrated that certain projects are moving slower than I would like. Tell me, why is it we need to wait for disaster to strike before we can appreciate our blessings?

I'm dot com now!

2009-04-02T11:12:00.013+01:00

Hey Guys,

So my site has finally launched!!!
A whole 4 weeks OVERDUE, but better late than never! I have spent so much time working on it that I'm not as excited as I was back in January. Its kinda like getting a new car. You get so emotional the first time you drive it, but the novelty soon wears off and you wanna upgrade. Lol. Although its my first effort and I am very proud, I am already looking out for a new designer for the next site...

In the meantime, please take a look and let me know what you think www.toyaberry.com

I know its lacking in colour, but I just couldn't decide which colour scheme looked best. Was thinking pink, then orange, then white, then back to pink... lol

Anyway, that’s one of my goals down for this year – plenty more to be getting on with!!!!

Had a meeting with an organisation called U4U yesterday.

It’s a really interesting concept which focuses on empowering and developing the mental and physical health of young girls and I am delighted to have been asked to get involved! Their mission statement is to provide support to young ladies so that they can become good citizens of today and positive leaders of tomorrow - Something that I am TRULY passionate about!

We are having our first event on the 17th of May so feel free to come down and say Hi! Bring your younger sisters, cousins and friends. Its going to be a huge girly party with lots of treats! MTV and Models1 are going to be in the house too so don’t miss out!!!

Click here for more info
www.u4u.co.uk

Since the beginning of the year I have done a number of shoots and shows, which I may have told you about. It feels like I am always talking, but never have anything to show for it! Lol. It’s ridiculous how long it takes for some designers/ photographers to get the images back to you. Anyway, here are a few bits and bobs from the past few months...

Pink and ruffles shoot March 09

Jewel Clothing March 09

Sideview magazine – I’m still waiting???? Didn’t we shoot beginning of January??? Lol

Lotsa Luv

TB x x

I need a J Holiday

2009-03-30T13:41:00.008+01:00

Yesterday I was at the 02 to interview J Holiday and Trey Songz for the Champagne & Stilettos column. Due to a minor communication problem (and a HUGE navigation problem), I arrived half an hour late to the hotel and missed my time slot with Trey. Gutted! Luckily though, I managed to catch him backstage at the concert.

Damn he is FINE!!! Lol

Anyway, the interview with JHoliday went really well, he is such a sweetheart! Really down to earth and so intelligent! Plus he sang back-up on one of my favourite songs of all time – “So Anxious” by Ginuwine, so I was excited about meeting him. I was impressed by how normal and friendly he was, until I saw him after the concert drunk on Magnum! I swear the guy turned into Slick Rick or something, talking about “Oooh you smell so Goooood... Am I gonna see you at the after party?”

Sorry J, But is not THAT type of party! Lol.

All in all it was a good night, and the girls and I had a lot of fun! Shout out to Wayne and Paul from RSP Family who took care of us and completely hooked us up! ACCESS ALL AREAS - love U guyz x x

Also shout out to my gorgeous girl at Now magazine who turned down Trey Songz dead in his face! He could not believe it – neither could I.

My crazy friend shall remain nameless!

I'll let you guess which one it was...

Oh, and not to forget Nana from the Observer – my African warrior!!!! Cannot wait to work with you guys again!

Got to dash as I have a few viewings this afternoon plus an appointment with the dentist (which I am NOT looking forward to). Here are some pics of the boys in action...

Lotsa Luv,

TB x x

Can I come live with you??? Lol

2009-03-26T12:10:00.007Z

Hey Guys,

Hope you’ve all been well and enjoying the (little) sunshine we’ve been having! I have been so preoccupied with a number of things this week! If you’ve been on my Facebook you will know that I’ve been flat hunting relentlessly! I am having terrible luck though and getting a tad frustrated. Everything I like gets snapped up so quickly! Or the pictures look better than the ACTUAL property. LOL. I am trying to move and be settled before I go to Jamaica in the Summer, so if you hear of any places to rent south of the border, get at me!!!

Shot for Jewel clothing on Sunday. It was a great shoot and the clothes are so HOT!! They have recently started franchising their dresses in boutiques throughout Croydon, which I am sure is just the beginning! Check them out www.jewelclothing.co.uk and let me know what you think! Pictures from the shoot will be up soon.

Got the opportunity to interview the cast of Fast and Furious 4 which was cool. Tyrese isn't in it so was slightly disappointed, but life goes on lol.

Also interviewed the stunning DJ SheDevil for Model Focus this week. Not only is she stunning, she is business minded and driven - definitley an attractive quality in a woman! Check out the interview >>
TOYA BERRY INTERVIEWS DJ SHEDVIL

I’m going to leave you with this clip of Pharrell Williams singing for his supper. It’s SOOOO funny. I might try that next time I hit up Refill! They are so damn slow in there lol.

Lotsa Luv

TB x x

Losing my marbles!

2009-03-18T13:23:00.011Z

Don’t know where my head is at this week. Think with the chaos of last week I have literally just lost my mind!

On Monday I got to the office ten minutes early, only to realise that I had forgotten my laptop at home with ALL my work on it. I could’ve cried. Lol. Then on Tuesday I forgot my house Keys?!

Today I woke up nearly an hour late and had to run out the house, no make up, no hair spray, no heels! Yes I was in flats!!!! TRAGIC!! Lol

I need to take some time out for me and just get organised. Catch up with old friends, see the family more, perhaps even find time for a love interest? Think I need a spa day or something... Girls let me know if you’re on it!

Been “twittering” ALL week since the demise of Facebook. I really am annoyed – I wish they would leave it alone. I only just became competent on the old layout. Lol. Think I may just abuse Twitter out of principle!

If you’re on twitter get at me www.twitter.com/toyaberry

Lets protest together! lol.

I’m going to pop out for lunch now – but before I go, here are a few pics from the Pink and Ruffles fashion show at the Radisson hotel last Saturday. Havent got pics from Sundays shoot yet, but will post them when I do :-)

As a newly recruited "Pink and Ruffles Doll" I have been featured on their site! Check out the interview www.pinkandruffles.blogspot.com

Lotsa Luv

TB x x

Thank God it's FRIDAY!

2009-03-13T16:24:00.008Z

Just got some great news!

5 out of the 8 guys I put forward for some movie work got the part! Cant say much about the movie (not because I’m hyping, but because the big guns haven’t actually told us anything yet). Its going to be a big budget war film to be shot in Prague. WELL DONE BOYS! Am very proud of you all – paid vacation in Prague for 3 months – that’s the life lol!

Had the Champagne and Stiletto’s shoot on Monday. It went really well – so much fun. Have managed to put together the perfect team. Everyone is so passionate and driven about the project. It is really encouraging as this is my baby and I can get really stressed over it sometimes.

I was really worried about the shoot as I'd been ATTACKED by mosquitoes whilst in Trinidad and my legs (my PRIDE and JOY) were not saying one! Lol. But I have been assured that I will be retouched to perfection. Despite this I have been applying the cocoa butter thrice daily. Here's a quick snap -

Had to crop out the others (Ooops!) as I am not allowed to reveal the other girls just yet – but as soon as I get the green light I’ll let you have a peek.

This week has literally been non-stop! I have never been so EXHAUSTED! I am looking forward to getting a nice takeaway (probably indian) and a bottle of wine tonight. Gonna curl up on the sofa (maybe do a bit of work) and get an early night. If you can’t get hold of me, you’ll know why. Lol

Lotsa Luv,

TB x x